Irony Quotes

/ Tag List / Irony

1. “Nobody can tell what I suffer! But it is always so. Those who do not complain are never pitied.”

Tags : Complaints Histrionics Hysterics Irony Mrs Bennett Suffering
Author : Jane Austen
Source : Pride and Prejudice

2. “The things I do for love.”

Tags : Irony
Source : A Game of Thrones

3. “The Tyr had tried. It had really tried. It must have gone over every element of human psychology, tried desperately to understand the nature of human aesthetic sense … and then failed, miserably, in every regard.”

Tags : Great Context Irony Scifi
Author : C.S. Friedman
Source : The Madness Season

4. “What would a racist call werewolves? Wargs? She kind of liked that one, but suspected that racist bastards didn't read Tolkien.”

Tags : Humor Irony Racism Tolkien Werewolves
Source : Fair Game

5. “Irony is wasted on the stupid”

Tags : Irony Stupid Stupidity
Author : Oscar Wilde

6. “So, like I said, these are a bunch of really sweet guys, but you wouldn't want to share a Galaxy with them, not if they're just gonna keep at it, not if they're not gonna learn to relax a little. I mean it's just gonna be continual nervous time, isn't it, right? Pow, pow, pow, when are they next coming at us? Peaceful coexistence is just right out, right? Get me some water somebody, thank you."He sat back and sipped reflectively.OK," he said, "hear me, hear me. It's, like, these guys, you know, are entitled to their own view of the Universe. And according to their view, which the Universe forced on them, right, they did right. Sounds crazy, but I think you'll agree. They believe in ..."He consulted a piece of paper which he found in the back pocket of his Judicial jeans.They believe in `peace, justice, morality, culture, sport, family life, and the obliteration of all other life forms'.”

Tags : Douglas Adams Irony Sci Fi
Author : Douglas Adams
Source : The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: The Tertiary Phase

7. “Isn't it ironic that when you accept sadness is an inevitability of the human condition you feel happier?”

Tags : Hope Human Human Condition Inevitabilities Inevitability Irony Irony Of Life Sadness

8. “Very often the test of one's allegiance to a cause or to a people is precisely the willingness to stay the course when things are boring, to run the risk of repeating an old argument just one more time, or of going one more round with a hostile or (much worse) indifferent audience. I first became involved with the Czech opposition in 1968 when it was an intoxicating and celebrated cause. Then, during the depressing 1970s and 1980s I was a member of a routine committee that tried with limited success to help the reduced forces of Czech dissent to stay nourished (and published). The most pregnant moment of that commitment was one that I managed to miss at the time: I passed an afternoon with Zdenek Mlynar, exiled former secretary of the Czech Communist Party, who in the bleak early 1950s in Moscow had formed a friendship with a young Russian militant with an evident sense of irony named Mikhail Sergeyevitch Gorbachev. In 1988 I was arrested in Prague for attending a meeting of one of Vaclav Havel's 'Charter 77' committees. That outwardly exciting experience was interesting precisely because of its almost Zen-like tedium. I had gone to Prague determined to be the first visiting writer not to make use of the name Franz Kafka, but the numbing bureaucracy got the better of me. When I asked why I was being detained, I was told that I had no need to know the reason! Totalitarianism is itself a cliché (as well as a tundra of pulverizing boredom) and it forced the cliché upon me in turn. I did have to mention Kafka in my eventual story. The regime fell not very much later, as I had slightly foreseen in that same piece that it would. (I had happened to notice that the young Czechs arrested with us were not at all frightened by the police, as their older mentors had been and still were, and also that the police themselves were almost fatigued by their job. This was totalitarianism practically yawning itself to death.) A couple of years after that I was overcome to be invited to an official reception in Prague, to thank those who had been consistent friends through the stultifying years of what 'The Party' had so perfectly termed 'normalization.' As with my tiny moment with Nelson Mandela, a whole historic stretch of nothingness and depression, combined with the long and deep insult of having to be pushed around by boring and mediocre people, could be at least partially canceled and annealed by one flash of humor and charm and generosity.”

Tags : 1970S 1988 Arguments Arrest Charter 77 Cliches Commitment Communism Czechoslovakia Detention Dissent Generosity Gorbachev History Humour Irony Mediocrity Moscow Nelson Mandela Police Politics Prague Vaclav Havel Zdenek Mlynar
Source : Hitch-22: A Memoir

9. “...it’s just another one of those things I don’t understand: everyone impresses upon you how unique you are, encouraging you to cultivate your individuality while at the same time trying to squish you and everyone else into the same ridiculous mould. It’s an artist’s right to rebel against the world’s stupidity.”

Tags : Art Artists Be Yourself Catholic Author Creative Process Encouragement Funny Gadfly Humor Humor Inspirational Individuality Inspirational Ironic Irony Irony Of Life Rebel Rebellion Rebels Stupidity Stupidity Of Man Uniqueness
Source : Brushstrokes of a Gadfly

10. “When the Washington Post telephoned me at home on Valentine's Day 1989 to ask my opinion about the Ayatollah Khomeini's fatwah, I felt at once that here was something that completely committed me. It was, if I can phrase it like this, a matter of everything I hated versus everything I loved. In the hate column: dictatorship, religion, stupidity, demagogy, censorship, bullying, and intimidation. In the love column: literature, irony, humor, the individual, and the defense of free expression. Plus, of course, friendship—though I like to think that my reaction would have been the same if I hadn't known Salman at all. To re-state the premise of the argument again: the theocratic head of a foreign despotism offers money in his own name in order to suborn the murder of a civilian citizen of another country, for the offense of writing a work of fiction. No more root-and-branch challenge to the values of the Enlightenment (on the bicentennial of the fall of the Bastille) or to the First Amendment to the Constitution, could be imagined. President George H.W. Bush, when asked to comment, could only say grudgingly that, as far as he could see, no American interests were involved…”

Tags : Atheism Bullying Dictatorship Enlightenment Fascism Fatwa First Amendment Free Speech George Hw Bush Hate Humor Individualism Intimidation Iran Irony Khomeini Literature Love Religion Satanic Verses Stupidity Theocracy United States United States Constitution
Source : Hitch-22: A Memoir

11. “Can't you see that I'm only advising you to beg yourself not to be so dumb?”

Tags : Ancient Humour Irony Latin Nonsense Satyre Stupidity Text The Satyricon Trimalchio
Source : The Satyricon

12. “It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets.”

Tags : Double Standards Ethics Governments Humor Irony Killing Law Mankind Morality Murder Nationalism Nations War
Author : Voltaire

13. “Thank you for sending me a copy of your book. I'll waste no time reading it.”

Tags : Bad Reviews Books Classic Insult Irony Literary Criticism Time
Author : Moses Hadas

14. “The struggle for a free intelligence has always been a struggle between the ironic and the literal mind.”

Tags : Censorship Free Inquiry Free Speech Irony

15. “If you think this Universe is bad, you should see some of the others.”

Tags : Humor Irony Optimism Pessimism Schizophrenia Universe

16. “Remember: the time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself. Life's cruelest irony.”

Tags : Irony Life Loneliness
Source : Shampoo Planet

17. “What are all these?" Clary asked."Vials of holy water, blessed knives, steel and silver blades," Jace said, piling the weapons on the floor beside him, "electrum wire - not much use at the moment but it's always good to have spares - silver bullets, charms of protetion, crucifixes, stars of David-""Jesus," said Clary"I doubt he'd fit.""Jace." Clary was appalled.”

Tags : Clary Fray Humor Irony Jace Wayland Jesus
Source : City of Bones

18. “I say let the world go to hell, but I should always have my tea.”

Tags : Hell Individualism Irony Selfishness Tea
Source : Notes from Underground

19. “From even the greatest of horrors irony is seldom absent.”

Tags : Horror Irony
Source : Tales of H.P. Lovecraft

20. “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the road less traveled by and they CANCELLED MY FRIKKIN' SHOW. I totally shoulda took the road that had all those people on it. Damn.”

Tags : Firefly Humour Irony Show Business Wit
Author : Joss Whedon

21. “I'd rather be partly great than entirely useless.”

Tags : Ambition Failure Irony Optimism
Source : Unwind

22. “I quote others only in order the better to express myself.”

Tags : Expression Humor Irony Quoting Truth
Source : The Complete Essays

23. “It’s sarcasm, Josh.”“Sarcasm?”“It’s from the Greek, sarkasmos. To bite the lips. It means that you aren’t really saying what you mean, but people will get your point. I invented it, Bartholomew named it.”“Well, if the village idiot named it, I’m sure it’s a good thing.”“There you go, you got it.”“Got what?”“Sarcasm.”“No, I meant it.”“Sure you did.”“Is that sarcasm?”“Irony, I think.”“What’s the difference?”“I haven’t the slightest idea.”“So you’re being ironic now, right?”“No, I really don’t know.”“Maybe you should ask the idiot.”“Now you’ve got it.”“What?”“Sarcasm.”

Tags : Humor Irony Sarcasm
Source : Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal

24. “It is sometimes easier to be happy if you don't know everything.”

Tags : Happiness Irony Knowledge
Source : Morality for Beautiful Girls

25. “Would you like me to [kill you] now?" asked Snape, his voice heavy with irony. "Or would you like a few moments to compose an epitaph?”

Tags : Death Epitaph Irony Snape
Author : J.K. Rowling
Source : Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

26. “As soon as you stop wanting something, you get it.”

Tags : Irony Want Wanting
Author : Andy Warhol

27. “If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; but if you really make them think, they'll hate you.”

Tags : Irony Mob Thinking

28. “With every mistake, we must surely be learning.”

Tags : Hope Irony

29. “That's the nature of being a parent, Sabine has discovered. You'll love your children far more than you ever loved your parents, and -- in the recognition that your own children cannot fathom the depth of your love -- you come to understand the tragic, unrequited love of your own parents.”

Tags : Children Irony Love Parenting
Author : Ursula Hegi

30. “The sense of tragedy - according to Aristotle - comes, ironically enough, not from the protagonist's weak points but from his good qualities. Do you know what I'm getting at? People are drawn deeper into tragedy not by their defects but by their virtues....[But] we accept irony through a device called metaphor. And through that we grow and become deeper human beings.”

Tags : Irony Life Metaphor Wisdom
Source : Kafka on the Shore

31. “That's the difference between irony and sarcasm. Irony can be spontaneous, while sarcasm requires volition. You have to create sarcasm.”

Tags : Irony Sarcasm
Source : Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal

32. “Common sense is the most widely shared commodity in the world, for every man is convinced that he is well supplied with it.”

Tags : Common Sense Humor Irony

33. “Nobody steals books but your friends.”

Tags : Books Friendship Inspirational Irony Stealing
Author : Roger Zelazny
Source : The Guns of Avalon

34. “I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.”

Tags : Humor Irony Nobel Peace Prize
Author : Steven Wright

35. “Nay, but prithee, with sprinkles 'pon it instead," I said solemnly, "and frosting of white.”

Tags : Irony Politeness Sweetness
Author : Jim Butcher
Source : Small Favor

36. “It was growing late, and though one might stand on the brink of a deep chasm of disaster, one was still obliged to dress for dinner.”

Tags : Irony Manners
Source : April Lady

37. “Scriptures, n. The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.”

Tags : False Holy Book Holy Religion Humor Irony Profane Sacred Scripture Scriptures
Source : The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

38. “Mr. Bennet, how can you abuse your own children in such a way? Youtake delight in vexing me. You have no compassion for my poor nerves.""You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. Theyare my old friends. I have heard you mention them with considerationthese last twenty years at least.”

Tags : Histrionics Hysteria Irony Nerves Sarcasm
Author : Jane Austen

39. “It’s awful, telling it like this, isn’t it? As though we didn’t know the ending. As though it could have another ending. It’s like watching Romeo drink poison. Every time you see it you get fooled into thinking his girlfriend might wake up and stop him. Every single time you see it you want to shout, 'You stupid ass, just wait a minute,' and she’ll open her eyes! 'Oi, you, you twat, open your eyes, wake up! Don’t die this time!' But they always do.”

Tags : Death Despair Irony Romeo And Juliet
Source : Code Name Verity

40. “She was heartily ashamed of her ignorance - a misplaced shame. Where people wish to attach, they should always be ignorant. To come with a well−informed mind is to come with an inability of administering to the vanity of others, which a sensible person would always wish to avoid. A woman especially, if she have the misfortune of knowing anything, should conceal it as well as she can.”

Tags : Attachment Clichés Concealment Empowerment Feminism Ignorance Intelligence Irony Knowledge Preconceptions Prejudice Sarcasm Stereotypes Vanity Women
Author : Jane Austen
Source : Northanger Abbey

41. “Many things in this period have been hard to bear, or hard to take seriously. My own profession went into a protracted swoon during the Reagan-Bush-Thatcher decade, and shows scant sign of recovering a critical faculty—or indeed any faculty whatever, unless it is one of induced enthusiasm for a plausible consensus President. (We shall see whether it counts as progress for the same parrots to learn a new word.) And my own cohort, the left, shared in the general dispiriting move towards apolitical, atonal postmodernism. Regarding something magnificent, like the long-overdue and still endangered South African revolution (a jagged fit in the supposedly smooth pattern of axiomatic progress), one could see that Ariadne’s thread had a robust reddish tinge, and that potential citizens had not all deconstructed themselves into Xhosa, Zulu, Cape Coloured or ‘Eurocentric’; had in other words resisted the sectarian lesson that the masters of apartheid tried to teach them. Elsewhere, though, it seemed all at once as if competitive solipsism was the signifier of the ‘radical’; a stress on the salience not even of the individual, but of the trait, and from that atomization into the lump of the category. Surely one thing to be learned from the lapsed totalitarian system was the unwholesome relationship between the cult of the masses and the adoration of the supreme personality. Yet introspective voyaging seemed to coexist with dull group-think wherever one peered about among the formerly ‘committed’.Traditionally then, or tediously as some will think, I saw no reason to discard the Orwellian standard in considering modern literature. While a sort of etiolation, tricked out as playfulness, had its way among the non-judgemental, much good work was still done by those who weighed words as if they meant what they said. Some authors, indeed, stood by their works as if they had composed them in solitude and out of conviction. Of these, an encouraging number spoke for the ironic against the literal mind; for the generously interpreted interest of all against the renewal of what Orwell termed the ‘smelly little orthodoxies’—tribe and Faith, monotheist and polytheist, being most conspicuous among these new/old disfigurements. In the course of making a film about the decaffeinated hedonism of modern Los Angeles, I visited the house where Thomas Mann, in another time of torment, wrote Dr Faustus. My German friends were filling the streets of Munich and Berlin to combat the recrudescence of the same old shit as I read:This old, folkish layer survives in us all, and to speak as I really think, I do. not consider religion the most adequate means of keeping it under lock and key. For that, literature alone avails, humanistic science, the ideal of the free and beautiful human being. [italics mine]The path to this concept of enlightenment is not to be found in the pursuit of self-pity, or of self-love. Of course to be merely a political animal is to miss Mann’s point; while, as ever, to be an apolitical animal is to leave fellow-citizens at the mercy of Ideolo’. For the sake of argument, then, one must never let a euphemism or a false consolation pass uncontested. The truth seldom lies, but when it does lie it lies somewhere in between.”

Tags : Apartheid Bought Priesthood Euphemism Eurocentricism Film Germany Groupthink Hedonism Humanism Individualism Irony Journalism Left Wing Politics Orthodoxy Politics Populism Radical Politics Ronald Reagan Sectarianism Self Love Truth United States
Source : For the Sake of Argument: Essays and Minority Reports

42. “In Paris they just simply opened their eyes and stared when we spoke to them in French! We never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language.”

Tags : French Humor Irony Language
Author : Mark Twain
Source : The Innocents Abroad

43. “And on the pedestal these words appear:
'My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!'
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.”

Tags : Egypt Epic Hubris Irony Mighty Ozymandias Poet Warning
Source : Ozymandias

44. “You could write a book about things that you can't find on-line.”

Tags : Books Internet Irony Sam Roth
Source : Linger

45. “They thought more before nine a.m. than most people thought all month. I remember once declining cherry pie at dinner, and Rand cocked his head and said, 'Ahh! Iconoclast. Disdains the easy, symbolic patriotism.' And when I tried to laugh it off and said, well, I didn't like cherry cobbler either, Marybeth touched Rand's arm: 'Because of the divorce. All those comfort foods, the desserts a family eats together, those are just bad memories for Nick.' It was silly but incredibly sweet, these people spending so much energy trying to figure me out. The answer: I don't like cherries.”

Tags : Bad Memories Broken Home Cherry Pie Childhood Childhood Memories Divorce Funny Iconoclast Ironic Irony Logic Memories Over Thinking Patriotism Psychologist Psychology Simplicity Symbolism The Mind Thoughts
Author : Gillian Flynn
Source : Gone Girl

46. “People reject what they do not understand because it makes them feel small. They would rather believe in some other reality, even if it is only an illusion, so long as it makes them feel bigger.”

Tags : Artificial Believe Delusion Denial Denying Fabrications Greatness Human Humanity Inferior Insecurity Irony Jealousy Lies Life Lying Misunderstood Perception Pop Culture Reject Resentment Small Minds Social Media Understand
Author : Suzy Kassem
Source : Rise Up and Salute the Sun: The Writings of Suzy Kassem

47. “Actually—and this was where I began to feel seriously uncomfortable—some such divine claim underlay not just 'the occupation' but the whole idea of a separate state for Jews in Palestine. Take away the divine warrant for the Holy Land and where were you, and what were you? Just another land-thief like the Turks or the British, except that in this case you wanted the land without the people. And the original Zionist slogan—'a land without a people for a people without a land'—disclosed its own negation when I saw the densely populated Arab towns dwelling sullenly under Jewish tutelage. You want irony? How about Jews becoming colonizers at just the moment when other Europeans had given up on the idea?”

Tags : Arabs Britain Colonialism Europe Holy Land Irony Israel Israeli Palestinian Conflict Jews Land Palestine Religion Turkey Zionism
Source : Hitch-22: A Memoir

48. “And involuntarily I compared the childish sarcasm, the religious sarcasm of Voltaire with the irresistible irony of the German philosopher whose influence is henceforth ineffaceable.”

Tags : Irony Sarcasm Schopenhauer Voltaire
Source : The Complete Short Stories of Guy de Maupassant, Part One

49. “The bible is so simple you have to have someone else help you misunderstand it..”

Tags : Bible And Sex Bible Christianity Bible Chronology Bible Contradictions Bible Devil Bible Errors Bible Interpretation Bible Knowledge Bible Koran Bible Quotes Bible Reading Bible Stories Bible Study Bible Thumpers Bible Verse Ironic Irony Irony Of Life Misunderstanding Qoutes On Writing Quotes Of Life Religion Religion And Philoshophy Religious Faith Religious Quote
Author : Harmon Okinyo

50. “So, your kids must love the iPad?” I asked Mr. [Steve] Jobs, trying to change the subject. The company’s first tablet was just hitting the shelves. “They haven’t used it,” he told me. “We limit how much technology our kids use at home.” (Nytimes article, Sept. 10, 2014)”

Tags : Apple Apple Computer Inc Ipad Irony Steve Jobs Steve Jobs Quotes Technology Technology Addiction
Author : Nick Bilton

51. “What has our culture lost in 1980 that the avant-garde had in 1890? Ebullience, idealism, confidence, the belief that there was plenty of territory to explore, and above all the sense that art, in the most disinterested and noble way, could find the necessary metaphors by which a radically changing culture could be explained to its inhabitants.”

Tags : 1980 Art Avant Garde Confidence Culture David Foster Wallace Ebullience Idealism Irony Meta Modernism Metaphor Post Ironic Postmodernism Shia Lebouf
Author : Robert Hughes
Source : The Shock of the New

52. “A criminal always returns home.”

Tags : Alienation Always Aphorisms Attention Child Childhood Consequence Criminal Criminal Minds Family Family Life Family Values Home Irony Love Parents Quote Returns Sarcasm

53. “The ballot is stronger than the bullet.”

Tags : Democracy Elections Irony

54. “During the first day, curious at having outsiders among them, a long stream of inmates came over and talked with me. Remarkably, according to what they told me, nearly every inmate in the prison didn't do it. Several thousand people had been locked up unjustly and, by an incredible coincidence, all in the same prison.On the other hand, they knew an awful lot about how to knife somebody.”

Tags : Innocence Irony Prison
Author : Alan Alda
Source : Never Have Your Dog Stuffed: And Other Things I've Learned

55. “There is a wonderful mythical law of nature that the three things we crave most in life -- happiness, freedom, and peace of mind -- are always attained by giving them to someone else.”

Tags : Desires Irony Life

56. “There are few things more mysterious than endings. I mean, for example, when did the Greek gods end, exactly? Was there a day when Zeus waved magisterially down from Olympus and Aphrodite and her lover Ares, and her crippled husband Hephaestus ) I always felt sorry for him), and all the rest got rolled up like a worn-out carpet?”

Tags : Aphrodite S Hat Era Funny Gods Greek Irony Love Affair Romantic Time

57. “What is your advice to young writers?” “Drink, fuck and smoke plenty of cigarettes.”

Tags : Advice Alcohol Authors Bukowski Cigarettes Drink Funny Humor Ironic Irony Sarcasm Sex Smoke Writers Writing Writing Process
Source : Hot Water Music

58. “In league with being graced by greatness, prepare to be greeted, by all that is beneath you.”

Tags : Beneath Forged Glorious Glory Grace Greatness Greeting Hardship Irony League Preparation Tested Underhand

59. “What tale do you like best to hear?' 'Oh, I have not much choice! They generally run on the same theme - courtship; and promise to end in the same catastrophe - marriage.”

Tags : Choice Courtship Discord Disharmony Empowerment Gender Inequality Irony Love Marriage Matrimony Sarcasm Storytelling Subjection Women
Source : Jane Eyre

60. “Indeed it may be said with some confidence that the average man never really thinks from end to end of his life. There are moments when his cogitations are relatively more respectable than usual, but even at their climaxes they never reach anything properly describable as the level of serious thought. The mental activity of such people is only a mouthing of clichés. What they mistake for thought is simply a repetition of what they have heard. My guess is that well over eighty per cent. of the human race goes through life without having a single original thought. That is to say, they never think anything that has not been thought before and by thousands.”

Tags : Clichés Freethought Human Race Irony Thought
Author : H.L. Mencken
Source : Minority Report

61. “Think of the Christmas presentof gashes you opened when, in an attempt to be Superman, you slid in stocking feet on a slippery wood floor and crashed half way through a window. Hopes of heroism dashed on the heels of no clear sighting of Santa.”

Tags : Childhood Christmas Disappointment Heroes Injury Irony Kid Santa Stocking Feet Superman
Source : Of My Maiden Smoking

62. “Trapped. Sinking. Can't be myself. Made into what other people expect. Is that everyone's fate? Were the great individualists the products of their friends who wanted a great individualist as a friend?”

Tags : Eternal Champion Irony Karl Glogauer Self Doubt
Source : Behold the Man

63. “Ironic. I'm here because of my inherent dangerousness, but it's my inherent politeness that makes me put up with this. With him.”

Tags : Dangerous Irony Politeness Put Up
Author : Sophie Jordan
Source : Uninvited

64. “The most dangerous irony is, people are angry with others because of their own incompetence.”

Tags : Anger Angry Danger Dangerous Human Humans Incompetence Inspiration Inspirational Inspirational Quotes Ironic Ironical Irony Motivation Motivational Motivational Quotes People Peoples Philosophy Wisdom Wisdom Quotes
Author : Amit Kalantri
Source : Wealth of Words

65. “Sooner or later, all talk among foreigners in Pyongyang turns to one imponderable subject. Do the locals really believe what they are told, and do they truly revere Fat Man and Little Boy? I have been a visiting writer in several authoritarian and totalitarian states, and usually the question answers itself. Someone in a café makes an offhand remark. A piece of ironic graffiti is scrawled in the men's room. Some group at the university issues some improvised leaflet. The glacier begins to melt; a joke makes the rounds and the apparently immovable regime suddenly looks vulnerable and absurd. But it's almost impossible to convey the extent to which North Korea just isn't like that. South Koreans who met with long-lost family members after the June rapprochement were thunderstruck at the way their shabby and thin northern relatives extolled Fat Man and Little Boy. Of course, they had been handpicked, but they stuck to their line.There's a possible reason for the existence of this level of denial, which is backed up by an indescribable degree of surveillance and indoctrination. A North Korean citizen who decided that it was all a lie and a waste would have to face the fact that his life had been a lie and a waste also. The scenes of hysterical grief when Fat Man died were not all feigned; there might be a collective nervous breakdown if it was suddenly announced that the Great Leader had been a verbose and arrogant fraud. Picture, if you will, the abrupt deprogramming of more than 20 million Moonies or Jonestowners, who are suddenly informed that it was all a cruel joke and there's no longer anybody to tell them what to do. There wouldn't be enough Kool-Aid to go round. I often wondered how my guides kept straight faces. The streetlights are turned out all over Pyongyang—which is the most favored city in the country—every night. And the most prominent building on the skyline, in a town committed to hysterical architectural excess, is the Ryugyong Hotel. It's 105 floors high, and from a distance looks like a grotesquely enlarged version of the Transamerica Pyramid in San Francisco (or like a vast and cumbersome missile on a launchpad). The crane at its summit hasn't moved in years; it's a grandiose and incomplete ruin in the making. 'Under construction,' say the guides without a trace of irony. I suppose they just keep two sets of mental books and live with the contradiction for now.”

Tags : Authoritarianism Death Dissent Doublethink Drinking The Kool Aid Graffiti Indoctrination Irony Jokes Jonestown Kim Il Sung Kim Jong Il Koreans Moonies North Korea Propaganda Pyongyang Ryugyong Hotel South Korea Surveillance Totalitarianism Tourism In North Korea University
Source : Love, Poverty, and War: Journeys and Essays

66. “Some skeptics believe religious people are religious because they fear Hell. It's about as fair as saying skeptics are skeptics because they fear the ridicule of modern society.”

Tags : Agnosticism Apologetics Belief Culture Discernment Earth Faith Fallacies Fear Fearless Heaven Hell Hypocrisy Hypocrisy In Everyone Irony Judgment Logical Fallacies Martyr Mockery Peers Persecution Religion Skeptic Skepticism Society Status Quo Theism Uncool
Author : Criss Jami

67. “To be depressed or neurotic is passive. It has happened to all of us; we are it's victim and we have no control over it.”

Tags : Amusement Content Deep Word Play Deeper Meaning Humor Illiteral Injoke Irony Literal Philosophical Understandment

68. “I've never written a quote I feel would be suitable for my gravestone. Wouldn't it be ironic if it were this one? Oh, and could you pull a few weeds while you're here?”

Tags : Death Humor Funny Funny Quote Funny Quotes Grave Gravestone Humorous Humour Ironic Irony Lawn Lawns Quotable Quotable Quote Quotables Quote Quotes Thistle Thistles Weeds
Author : Ryan Lilly
Source : Write like no one is reading

69. “I wonder if the highlighter was highlight of the career for the person who invented it?”

Tags : Career Highlight Highlighter Invent Invention Inventor Irony
Author : Ryan Lilly

70. “LIII.What is the holiness of conversation? It isto master death.”

Tags : Glass God Irony
Author : Anne Carson

71. “Objection, evasion, joyous distrust, and love of irony are signs of health; everything absolute belongs to pathology.”

Tags : Absolute Absolution Agnosticism Distrust Evasion Health Irony Objection Pathology
Source : Beyond Good and Evil

72. “Luckily we don't sleep standing. Who knows where the dream will take us!”

Tags : Aphorism Dream Dreaming Dreaming Awake Dreams Quotes Go Irony Know Knows Luck Luckily Sarcasm Sleep Sleeping Stand Standing Take We Where Witty Quotes
Source : The New Land

73. “Give the People what they want - and they'll get what they deserve.”

Tags : Humor Irony Life Lessons Popular Culture Rock Music Wit
Author : The Kinks

74. “They had supported him ... for freedom's sake, they would have said; meaning as do all men who mouth that catchword, freedom for themselves and their own class.”

Tags : Irony Social Issues
Source : The Lion of England

75. “The man might have died in a fit; but then the jewels are missing," mused the Inspector, "Ha! I have a theory. These flashes come upon me at times... What do you think of this, Holmes? Sholto was, on his own confession, with his brother last night. The brother died in a fit, on which Sholto walked off the treasure! How's that?""On which the dead man very considerately got up and locked the door on the inside," said Holmes.”

Tags : Inspector Irony Murder Mystery Sherlock Sherlock Holmes Treasure
Source : The Sign of Four

76. “God hides the fires of hell within paradise.”

Tags : By The River Piedra God Hell Irony Paradise Paulo Coelho
Author : Paulo Coelho
Source : By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept

77. “Your favorite virtue? An appreciation for irony.”

Tags : Irony Virtues
Source : Hitch-22: A Memoir

78. “Nothing goes so well with a hot fire and buttered crumpets as a wet day without and a good dose of comfortable horrors within. The heavier the lashing of the rain and the ghastlier the details, the better the flavour seems to be.”

Tags : Comfort Crime Humor Irony Mysteries
Source : Strong Poison

79. “Shouldn't someone give a pep talk or something?' Minho asked..."Go ahead," Newt replied.Minho nodded and faced the crowd. 'Be careful,' he said dryly. 'Don't die.'Thomas would have laughed if he could, but he was too scared for it to come out.'Great. We're all bloody inspired,' Newt answered.”

Tags : Clever Comical Funny Hilarious Ironic Irony Witty
Author : James Dashner
Source : The Maze Runner

80. “And it's really very difficult to kill someone when all your inner instincts would oblige you to take off your hat first!”

Tags : Comeback Funny Humor Ironic Irony Satire Sharp Witty
Author : Susan Kay
Source : Phantom

81. “It's that feeling you get somehow knowing that something great is about to happen... about to happen. While every passing day nothing great really does happen. You wake up, go to classes, study, sleep and wait for another monotonous day.You know the great day is not tomorrow, not even the day after, not even in a week or a month's time. But it says it will come soon, the way you live your life, one day at a time, only to realize 20 years have elapsed effortlessly.It will come soon, the way you meet someone without expecting or knowing that you are going to have so much fun together. It will come soon, the way dreams come true overnight- demanding years of perspiration, ironically.It will come soon like a gush of cold air in a hot afternoon.It will come soon like a stranger you feel you have already met.It will come like a guest who would be here to stay.It will come like an eternity, a serendipity, an irony.It will come when it is time for it to come, the way you fall asleep and dreams arrive from a distant land, surely but stealthily.”

Tags : Ambitions Deserve Desire Destiny Distant Dream Dreaming Serendipity Dreams Eternity Future Great Happening Irony Life Miracles Monotonous Pray Something Time Uncertain Unknown Wait Wish

82. “I don't want to die. I deserve, certainly, the most extreme punishment society has, and I think society deserves to be protected from me and from others like me. That's the irony. What I'm talking about is going beyond retribution because there is no way in the world that killing me is going to restore those beautiful children to their parents and correct and soothe the pain.”

Tags : Beautiful Children Correct Die Don T Extreme Has I Irony Is Killing Me Others Pain Parents Protected Restore Society Soothe Ted Bundy Those To Want
Source : Life on the Edge: A Young Adult's Guide to a Meaningful Future

83. “It strikes me often while I am in Iran that were Christian evangelicals to take a tour of Iran today, they might find it the model for an ideal society they seek in America. Replace Allah with God, Mohammad with Jesus, keep the same public and private notions of chastity, sin, salvation, and God's will, and a Christian Republic is born.”

Tags : Fundamentalism Irony Politics Religion
Author : Hooman Majd
Source : The Ayatollah Begs to Differ: The Paradox of Modern Iran

84. “I must be overtired', Buttercup managed. 'The excitement and all.''Rest then', her mother cautioned. 'Terrible things can happen when you're overtired. I was overtired the night your father proposed.”

Tags : Buttercup Irony Repartee The Princess Bride Tired Tiredness William Goldman
Source : The Princess Bride

85. “In a nutshell, I am not unaware of my failings. Neither am I a stranger to irony.”

Tags : Biography Honesty Insite To Self Irony Know Thyself Self Deprecation
Source : Barney's Version

86. “One notorious apikoros named Hiwa al-Balkhi, writing in ninth-century Persia, offered two hundred awkward questions to the faithful. He drew upon himself the usual thunderous curses—'may his name be forgotten, may his bones be worn to nothing'—along with detailed refutations and denunciations by Abraham ibn Ezra and others. These exciting anathemas, of course, ensured that his worrying 'questions' would remain current for as long as the Orthodox commentaries would be read. In this way, rather as when Maimonides says that the Messiah will come but that 'he may tarry,' Jewishness contrives irony at its own expense. If there is one characteristic of Jews that I admire, it is that irony is seldom if ever wasted on them.”

Tags : Abraham Ibn Ezra Atheism Curses Heretics Hiwi Al Balkhi Irony Jewishness Jews Judaism Maimonides Messiah Orthodox Judaism Religion Self Deprecation
Source : Hitch-22: A Memoir

87. “Behind every successful woman is a hungry man.”

Tags : Aphorism Career Career Quotes Hungry Irony Man Marriage Marriage Life Marriage Quotes Quote Sarcasm Success Successful Woman
Source : The New Land

88. “The rich and the poor truly are from different realms: one has adapted to become an expert in material forfeit; the other has forfeited all they are to material, and thus is enslaved, by it.”

Tags : Economy Forfeit Give Up Irony Material Middle Class Poor Realms Rich Slavery

89. “Depend upon it, sir, when a man knows he is to be hanged in a fortnight, it concentrates his mind wonderfully.”

Tags : Concentration Death Focus Hanging Irony
Source : The Life of Samuel Johnson LL.D. Vol 3

90. “The beauty and mystery of this world only emerges through affection, attention, interest and compassion . . . open your eyes wide and actually see this world by attending to its colors, details and irony.”

Tags : Affection Attention Beauty Color Compassion Detail Interest Irony Mystery
Author : Orhan Pamuk
Source : My Name is Red

91. “Short men are happy, for they can pass easily through the door. Tall men are happy, for they can stand erect and pluck oranges with their hands. Again, short men are angry, for they cannot stand erect and pluck oranges with their hands. Again, tall men are angry, for they cannot pass easily through the door.”

Tags : Abnormality Benefit Comparison Contradiction Epigram Food For Thought Height Human Nature Humour Inadiquacy Incapacity Joke Man Mankind Natural Negative Opposition Reversal Similarity Story Witticism Witty

92. “If heaven was hot and hell was chilly, tell me, why would you go to heaven?”

Tags : Atheism Chaos Choice Confusion Decision Delimma Empyrean Epigram Heaven Hell Irony Michael Bassey Johnson Path Philosophical Pit Pit Of Hell Question Questions Sheol Steps Temptation

93. “... a man doesn't like to have his ego popped, especially when he prides himself on his sagacity, and then to be proved wrong by a man who claims he doesn't know anything.”

Tags : Black Humor Dark Humor Ego Egotism Egotist Funny Gadfly Humorous Quotes Irony Irony Of Life Men Pride Pride Trap Sarcasm Socrates
Source : Brushstrokes of a Gadfly

94. “Do you work for the government, any government?”"I pay taxes, which means I work for the government, part of the time. Yes.”

Tags : Goverment Irony Political
Author : Roger Zelazny
Source : My Name is Legion

95. “Will 2015 ever be noted as the year Ebola was decisively downgraded from a lurid horror meme to just one of many commonly treatable diseases?”

Tags : 2015 Africa Disease Control Ebola Epidemics Irony Lessons Learned Medical Research Medical Treatment Public Health Success
Author : T.K. Naliaka

96. “Captain Smek himself appeared on television for an official speech to humankind. [...] 'Noble Savages of Earth,' he said. 'Long time we have tried to live together in peace.' (It had been five months.) 'Long time have the Boov suffered under the hostileness and intolerableness of you people. With sad hearts I now concede that Boov and humans will never to exist as one.' I remember being really excited at this point. Could I possibly be hearing right? Were the Boov about to leave? I was so stupid.'And so now I generously grant you Human Preserves - gifts of land that will be for humans forever, never to be taken away again, now.' [...] So that's when we Americans were given Florida. One state for three hundred million people. There were going to be some serious lines for the bathrooms.”

Tags : Aliens Humor Invasion Irony Native Americans Parody Reservations Usa
Author : Adam Rex
Source : The True Meaning of Smekday

97. “The definition of irony - A Pope who refuses to give law enforcement the names of hundreds (or maybe thousands) of predatory homosexual pedophile priests around the world, then claiming that gay marriage will be the world's undoing. (Speaking of Benedict the XVI.)”

Tags : Gay Marriage Homosexual Irony Law Enforcement Pedophile Priests Pope Benedict Xvi Predatory
Author : Dave Champion

98. “The American white relegates the black to the rank of shoeshine boy; and he concludes from this that the black is good for nothing but shining shoes.”

Tags : Equality Irony Racial Discrimination

99. “The thing about changing the world... Once you do it, the world's all different.”

Tags : Buffy The Vampire Slayer Changing The World Epiphany Humour Irony
Author : Joss Whedon
Source : Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The Long Way Home

100. “Everyone Deserves An Equal Footing.”

Tags : Equal Rights Fairness Humor Irony
Author : R. E. Conary
Source : Life's a Bitch. So am I.: Rachel Cord Confidential Investigations

101. “Keep trying?I'd rather keep walking. I mean, whisky is whisky”

Tags : Aphorism Aphorisms Funny Irony Keep Keep Trying Keep Walking Quote Quotes Sarcastic Whiskey
Source : The New Land

102. “If you don't understand it, it's art.”

Tags : Aphorism Aphorisms Art Irony Quotes Sarcasm Sarcastic Quotes Understand Understanding Quotes
Source : The New Land

103. “Maugham then offers the greatest advice anyone could give to a young author: "At the end of an interrogation sentence, place a question mark. You'd be surprised how effective it can be.”

Tags : Humor Interrogation Marks Irony Writing Advice Writing Tips
Author : Woody Allen

104. “Irony; we want to dance like robots and want robots to dance like us.”

Tags : Ca Vikram Verma Chartered Accountant Corpkshetra Corporate Dance Irony Irony Of Life Motivational Quotes Robot Vikram Vikram Verma Vikrmn Vvck
Author : Vikrmn
Source : Corpkshetra

105. “ The Blue Jay's Lullaby— Spiders and sowbugs and beetles and crickets, Slugs from the roses and ticks from the thickets,  Grasshoppers, snails, and a quail's egg or two—   All to be regurgitated for you.Lullaby, lullaby, swindles and schemes, Flying's not near as much fun as it seems.”

Tags : Bitterness Irony Lullaby
Source : The Last Unicorn

106. “How ya doin'?' I always think, What kind of a question is that?, and I always reply, 'A bit early to tell.”

Tags : Greetings Irony Questions
Source : Love, Poverty, and War: Journeys and Essays

107. “You might as well laugh at yourself,everyone else is.”

Tags : Humor Irony Laughter Sarcasm Satirical
Author : B.J. Neblett

108. “I paid, got up, walkedto the door, openedit.I heard the mansay, "that guy'snuts."out on the street Iwalked northfeelingcuriouslyhonored.”

Tags : Bukowski Crazy Death Funny Honor Irony Life Mental Poem Poetry Self Soul
Source : You Get So Alone at Times That it Just Makes Sense

109. “Erik wondered if they saw the irony of such a tiny complex expecting to find the cure from the very lives they minimized in comparison to the whole. If such small, little lives mattered not, how could they believe anything they did would matter?”

Tags : Dystopian Fiction Insignificant Irony Little Lives Minimizing Zombie
Source : Solving for X

110. “We're not obsessed by anything, you see," insisted Ford."...""And that's the deciding factor. We can't win against obsession. They care, we don't. They win.""I care about lots of things," said Slartibartfast, his voice trembling partly with annoyance, but partly also with uncertainty."Such as?""Well," said the old man, "life, the Universe. Everything, really. Fjords.""Would you die for them?""Fjords?" blinked Slartibartfast in surprise. "No.""Well then.""Wouldn't see the point, to be honest.”

Tags : Douglas Adams Irony Sci Fi
Author : Douglas Adams

111. “Everything is possible, but where can I find everything?!”

Tags : Absurd Absurdity Aphorism Aphorisms But Can Everything Existence Find I Ironical Irony Is Possibility Possible Quest Question Question Everything Questions And Answers Quote Quotes Sarcasam Where
Source : The New Land

112. “You see, cancer is simply nature's way of making you want to die.'Tatsu.”

Tags : Cancer Cynicism Death And Sickness Irony
Author : Barry Eisler
Source : Extremis

113. “Luckily, even as a young man not yet become himself, John Bridgens had two things besides indecision that kept him from self-destruction - books and a sense of irony.”

Tags : Books Irony Salvation Self Destruction
Author : Dan Simmons
Source : The Terror

114. “Irony of the day: arthritis medication with a cap that old people can't get off, because of their arthritis.”

Tags : Arthritis Humor Irony Medication

115. “Dream Song of Thunders:Sometimes I go about pitying Myself, While I am carried by the wind Across the sky. ”

Tags : Enlightenment Irony Old Songs Transcendence Wind
Source : American Indians and Their Music

116. “Every misogynist came out of a woman.”

Tags : Irony Misogyny Origins Truth
Author : Mat Johnson

117. “When you raise the most valid of points, you will be grazed by the most hollow of souls, and the most vacant of personages.”

Tags : Argument Combat Compromise Desolate Empty Hollow Irony Personages Personalities Souless Souls Struggle Vacant Validity Void War

118. “What is all this? Get him out of here, devil take me!” And that one, imagine, smiles and says: “Devil take you? That, in fact, can be done!” And—bang!”

Tags : Bureaucracy Devil Irony
Source : The Master and Margarita

119. “When Maimonides says that the Messiah will come but that 'he may tarry,' we see the origin of every Jewish shrug from Spinoza to Woody Allen.”

Tags : Baruch Spinoza Irony Judaism Maimonides Messiah Woody Allen
Source : Letters to a Young Contrarian

120. “Voltaire expected that within fifty years of his lifetime there would not be one Bible in the world. His house is now a distribution centre for Bibles in many languages.”

Tags : Bible Cynicism Irony Voltaire

121. “Tremendous beauty and tremendous ugliness puts you on the outside of things.”

Tags : Beauty Dorothy Swenson Irony Outsider

122. “It is extremely dangerous to encourage people to see themselves as [inherently] exceptional, whatever the motivation. There are big countries and small countries, rich and poor, those with long democratic traditions and those still finding their way to democracy. Their policies differ, too. We are all different, but when we ask for the Lord’s blessings, we must not forget that God created us equal.”

Tags : Corruption Equality Exceptionalism Government Corruption Imperialism Irony Nationalism Political Corruption Racism

123. “Peter, who broke his enemies on the rack and hanged them in Red Square, who had his son tortured to death, is Peter the Great. But Nicholas, whose hand was lighter than that of any tsar before him, is "Bloody Nicholas". In human terms, this is irony rich and dramatic, the more so because Nicholas knew what he was called.”

Tags : Irony Peter The Great Tsar Tsar Nicholas Ii
Source : Nicholas and Alexandra

124. “He smelled the smells of commerce and listened to the cursing of the sailors, both of which he admired: the former, as it reeked of wealth, and the latter because it combined his two other chief preoccupations, these being theology and anatomy.”

Tags : 1967 Cursing Irony Swear Words Swearing
Author : Roger Zelazny
Source : Lord of Light

125. “Perhaps we can conceive of the ironist as the fetishist's apprentice, reaching out for all readers, ensnaring them in a tangle of ambiguity, uncertainty and indecision from which there is no escape. Irony, quite possibly, makes fetishists of us all.”

Tags : Ambiguity Fetish Indecision Irony Uncertainity
Author : Janet Beizer

126. “[sic] his reaction was a sign of civilization. Nobody reaches for a gun anymore, just for his lawyer.”

Tags : Irony Speculative Fiction
Source : Manhattan In Reverse

127. “Now, as I understand it, the bards were feared. They were respected, but more than that they were feared. If you were just some magician, if you'd pissed off some witch, then what's she gonna do, she's gonna put a curse on you, and what's gonna happen? Your hens are gonna lay funny, your milk's gonna go sour, maybe one of your kids is gonna get a hare-lip or something like that — no big deal. You piss off a bard, and forget about putting a curse on you, he might put a satire on you. And if he was a skilful bard, he puts a satire on you, it destroys you in the eyes of your community, it shows you up as ridiculous, lame, pathetic, worthless, in the eyes of your community, in the eyes of your family, in the eyes of your children, in the eyes of yourself, and if it's a particularly good bard, and he's written a particularly good satire, then three hundred years after you're dead, people are still gonna be laughing, at what a twat you were.”

Tags : Artists Artists Way Bard Irony Modernity Is A Sickness Musicians Politics Satire Singers Songwriters
Author : Alan Moore

128. “You can put anything into words, except your own life”

Tags : Irony Meaning
Author : Max Frisch

129. “The best way to measure the loss of intellectual sophistication - this "nerdification," to put it bluntly - is in the growing disappearance of sarcasm, as mechanic minds take insults a bit too literally.”

Tags : Autism Intellectual Sophistication Internet Irony Nerd Nerdery Nerdiness Nerds Post Ironic Post Modern Post Modernism Reddit Sophistication Wisdom Vs Nerds Wit
Source : The Bed of Procrustes: Philosophical and Practical Aphorisms

130. “Postmodern irony and cynicism's become an end in itself, a measure of hip sophistication and literary savvy. Few artists dare to try to talk about ways of working toward redeeming what's wrong, because they'll look sentimental and naive to all the weary ironists. Irony's gone from liberating to enslaving. [.] The postmodern founders' patricidal work was great, but patricide produces orphans, and no amount of revelry can make up for the fact that writers my age have been literary orphans throughout our formative years.”

Tags : Irony Post Modernism

131. “You don’t need a plan. You have the Puck with you, remember? I’m an expert at this. And I’ve never needed an elaborate plan to pull anything off.”...“Worry not, human,” the cat sighed, giving himself a thorough shake. “I am going with you as well. With Goodfellow’s exemplary planning, someone has to make sure you go through the right door.”

Tags : Fun Grim Irony Puck
Author : Julie Kagawa
Source : The Iron Daughter

132. “It might seem to you that living in the woods on a riverbank would remove you from the modern world. But not if the river is navigable, as ours is. On pretty weekends in the summer, this riverbank is the very verge of the modern world. It is a seat in the front row, you might say. On those weekends, the river is disquieted from morning to night by people resting from their work.This resting involves traveling at great speed, first on the road and then on the river. The people are in an emergency to relax. They long for the peace and quiet of the great outdoors. Their eyes are hungry for the scenes of nature. They go very fast in their boats. They stir the river like a spoon in a cup of coffee. They play their radios loud enough to hear above the noise of their motors. They look neither left nor right. They don't slow down for - or maybe even see - an old man in a rowboat raising his lines...I watch and I wonder and I think. I think of the old slavery, and of the way The Economy has now improved upon it. The new slavery has improved upon the old by giving the new slaves the illusion that they are free. The Economy does not take people's freedom by force, which would be against its principles, for it is very humane. It buys their freedom, pays for it, and then persuades its money back again with shoddy goods and the promise of freedom.”

Tags : Economy Freedom Irony Modernity Rest Restlessness Slavery
Author : Wendell Berry
Source : Jayber Crow

133. “The over-weight and out of shape guy who owned the house had apparently decided that having a half-million dollar house meant that he couldn’t afford to hire someone to clean out his gutters. Now he was dead with what looked to me like a broken neck after the ladder had slipped. He’d taken the plunge into his fancy landscaping—complete with rock garden. But hey, his fucking gutters were clean.”

Tags : Death Dying Garden Humor Irony Sarcasm
Author : Diana Rowland
Source : My Life as a White Trash Zombie

134. “Maia screamed and woke. 'Serenity?' Cala's voice, Cala's angular shape outlined against the window. ' 'Tis an ironic title, in sooth,' Maia said feebly, realizing that the entangling garments of the nightmare were merely his bedsheets. His heart was hammering, and he was clammy with sweat.”

Tags : Irony Nightmares The Goblin Emperor Titles
Source : The Goblin Emperor

135. “Morpheus stops in his tracks. I have his full attention. “So, you manipulated us both with one vow.” His long black lashes tremble, and admiration shimmers behind his wounded gaze—the same look I’ve received throughout my life each time I please him. Although the dark, angry crimson of his blinking jewels belies any true pleasure. “Bitterest irony. It would appear I trained you too well—” ”

Tags : Alyssa Irony Manipulate Morpheus Vow
Author : A.G. Howard
Source : Ensnared

136. “Sometimes, to fix something, you need to completely ruin something else”

Tags : Humor Irony Oddity Of Life Stupidity
Author : Evan Gans

137. “To paraphrase Oedipus, Hamlet, Lear, and all those guys, "I wish I had known this some time ago.”

Tags : Hindsight Humor Irony Shakespeare
Author : Roger Zelazny
Source : Sign of the Unicorn

138. “Wait!" said Erbrechen, suddenly feeling jovial. "I change my mind. Never shite again. Ever. Anywhere."It was a small thing, but of such small things were life's joys truly made. The thought, he knew, would keep him smiling for days."The world is a comedy, intoned Erbrechen, tittering, "and each must play his fart.”

Tags : Delusion Fart Irony Mad Mind Control

139. “Just to keep the bad dreams at bay, she took a swig out of a bottle that smelled of apples and happy brain-death.”

Tags : Funny Humor Humorous Quotations Ironic Irony
Source : Maskerade

140. “I don't like him. He makes me laugh. It'll wrinkle my face.”

Tags : Aphorism Aphorisms Artificial Love Face Him Irony Laugh Laugh Out Loud Like Love Make Man My Pure Love Quote Quotes Real Love Sarcasa Sarcastic Sincerity Smile Smiling Smiling Face Woman Wrinkle
Source : The New Land

141. “Min Herres behagelige Sendebrev af 27de Dag udi Glugmaanet, (a) haver jeg den anden Dag af Blidemaaned (b) bekommet. Min Herre forlanger at vide hvordan Tilstanden nu omstunder er ved Academiet, om man tilkommende Sommer kand vente, at see nogen, at blive ophøyed paa Doctor-Trappen, (c) enten udi den Guddommelige Kundskab (d), udi de verdslige Love, (e) eller udi Lægekunsten (f). Min Herre ønsker ogsaa at vide, hvor mange Mestere af Verdens Viisdom (g) i Fior bleve skabte (h), hvor mange Laurbærkronede Personer (i), Item, hvo dette Aar er Rector og Decanus, det er den høye Skoles Forstander og den verdslige Viisdoms Høvidsmand, iligemaade, hvad Nyt som ellers er forefaldet udi den lærde Fristad (k). (a) Januario.(b) Februario.(c) Doctor-Graden.(d) Theologien.(e) Injure.(f) Medicinen.(g) Magistri Philosophiae.(h) Creerede.(i) Baccalaurei.(k) Republica literaria.”

Tags : Bad Writing Excess Foolish Irony Keep It Simple Laconic Linguistics Meaningless Pomp Poor Understanding Pseudo Intellectuals Rhetorics Scholars
Source : Epistler

142. “The dimple in his left cheek was ironic-it gave the impression that he was sweet as a cupcake. (Dark City Lights)”

Tags : Anthologies Appearances Comedy Funny Humor Humorous Quotes Irony Misleading Short Stories
Author : Elaine Kagan

143. “Colorless green ideas sleep furiouslythree old owls on a chest of drawerswere screwingthe daughter of the doctor.But then the mother called them,colorless green ideas slepp furiously.”

Tags : Chomsky Irony Linguistics Pastiche Poetry Semantics Sestina
Author : Umberto Eco
Source : How to Travel with a Salmon and Other Essays

144. “A modern philosopher who has never once suspected himself of being a charlatan must be such a shallow mind that his work is probably not worth reading.”

Tags : Charlatan Doubt Irony Modernity Philosophy Self Criticism
Source : Metaphysical Horror

145. “If consultants followed their own advice, they wouldn't tell anyone.”

Tags : Consultants Humor Irony

146. “People who didn't need people needed people around to know that they were the kind of people who didn't need people.”

Tags : Funny Humor Humorous Ironic Irony
Source : Maskerade

147. “He was one of the most supremely stupid men I have ever met. He taught me a great deal.”

Tags : Ironic Irony
Author : John Fowles
Source : The Magus

148. “sometimes when everything seems atits worstwhen all conspiresand gnawsand the hours, days, weeksyearsseem wasted – stretched there upon my bedin the darklooking upward at the ceilingi get what many will consider anobnoxious thought:it’s still nice to beBukowski.”

Tags : Bukowski Ego Funny Ironic Irony Obnoxious Poem Poetry
Source : You Get So Alone at Times That it Just Makes Sense

149. “One of life’s ironies is that the more honest and vulnerable you are, the more others try to discredit you as a fraud and a fake. Shut them up by not caring.”

Tags : Fake People Frauds Honesty Insecurity Irony
Author : Dan Pearce
Source : Single Dad Laughing

150. “I have associated myself with failed scientists in order to associate myself with failed irony. ("Metier: Why I Don't Write Like Franz Kafka")”

Tags : Irony Scientists
Source : Why I Don't Write Like Franz Kafka

151. “Inexplicably, I felt drops of icy sweat dripping up my back. I am aware that icy and sweat are contradictory by their very nature and should not be able to coexist in the same freakish bead of ICK WHAT IS THAT falling up my back. I am also aware things are not supposed to fall up. For that matter, criminals aren’t supposed to get it on with crimefighters. Yet here we were: Catwoman, Batman, icy, sweat, dripping, up. Sometimes life is like that.”

Tags : Comic Books Irony
Author : Chris Dee
Source : Cat-Tales Book 3

152. “It is a tragic and agonizing irony that instructions once delivered for the purpose of avoiding needless offense are now invoked in ways that needlessly offend, that words once meant to help draw people to the gospel now repel them.”

Tags : Christianity Gospel Irony Offense
Source : A Year of Biblical Womanhood

153. “Irony, we want our handwriting to look like typed fonts, and our computer fonts to look like handwritten text.”

Tags : Ca Vikram Verma Chartered Accountant Computer Corpkshetra Corporate Corporate Quotes Fonts Handwriting Handwritten Ironical Irony Motivational Quotes Text Vikram Vikram Verma Vikrmn Vvck
Author : Vikrmn
Source : Corpkshetra

154. “Sarcasm is waster on the young.”

Tags : Cynicism Derision Intelligence Irony Mockery Ridicule Scoffing Scorn Sneering Wisdom
Author : Bert McCoy

155. “Wouldn't it be ironic if everyone who got a radio up and running just sat around waiting for everyone else to transmit a message?”

Tags : Irony Proactivity Zombie Apocalypse
Source : Fearless

156. “monotony kills the heart. Ironically, monotony is what keeps the heart working.”

Tags : Heart Irony Irony Of Life Monotony
Author : Soumeet Lanka

157. “We named the bar The Bar. "People will think we're ironic instead of creatively bankrupt," my sister reasoned.Yes, we thought we were being clever New Yorkers - that the name was a joke no one else would really get, like we did. Not meta-get ... But our first customer, a gray-haired woman in bifocals and a pink jogging suit, said, "I like the name. Like in Breakfast at Tiffany's and Audrey Hepburn's cat was named Cat.”

Tags : Alcohol Audrey Hepburn Bar Bars Breakfast At Tiffany S Cat Drinking Failure Irony Loss New Beginnings New Yorkers Snobs The Recession Vanity
Author : Gillian Flynn
Source : Gone Girl

158. “So through a world of piety I made my way to Sebastian.”

Tags : Homosexuality Irony Lovers Minimalism
Author : Evelyn Waugh
Source : Brideshead Revisited

159. “I actually feel quite self-indulgent at the moment, telling you all about me, me, me.(...) On the other hand, you're a human -you should understand self obsession.”

Tags : Egocentricity Egocentrism Humanity Irony Self Absorption Self Obsession
Author : Markus Zusak
Source : The Book Thief

160. “The human ego is the ugliest part of man. We lift up men who only show us darkness, and put down those brave enough to show us the light. Likewise, people engage in darkness when it is light outside, and acknowledge the light only when it is dark. We abandon those fighting for us to cheer behind those fighting against us. And, we only remember good people and God when it is convenient for us, and take them for granted because their doors are always open - only to chase after closed doors and personalities void of substance and truth.”

Tags : Beauty Closed Doors Darkness Doors Ego Faith Fighting God Granted Human Nature Irony Light Men Neglect People Substance Truth Ugly Void Of Truth
Author : Suzy Kassem
Source : Rise Up and Salute the Sun: The Writings of Suzy Kassem

161. “I find it really fascinating that while in an attempt to look beautiful we tend to go for what's easily acceptable.But when it comes to portraits, it is only our facial flaws that make that picture worth its while, setting it apart.Isn't it amazing to find that beauty is something that makes us alike? While our flaws are the real contributors to our uniqueness.”

Tags : Beauty Identity Irony Irony Of Life Self Love

162. “girlsplease give yourbodies and yourlivestothe young menwhodeserve thembesidesthere isno wayI would welcometheintolerabledullsenseless hellyou would bringmeandI wish youluckin bedandoutbut notinminethankyou.”

Tags : Boring Bukowski Death Dull Funny Girls Hell Irony Life Love Misogyny Poem Poetry Rejection Sexuality Women
Source : You Get So Alone at Times That it Just Makes Sense

163. “You can make fun of yourself and people will laugh at you. If you’re smart, you’ll end up as a comedian. If you’re not, you’ll end up as a clown.”

Tags : Aphorism Aphorisms Clever Clown Clown Quotes Comedian End Up Fun Funny Humour Ironically Irony Make Fun Of People Quote Quotes Sarcasam Sarcastic Smart Stupid Yourself
Source : The New Land

164. “Faith is a luxury for those who are able to ignore what the rest of us must see every day. Pessimism, distrust, and irony are the holy trinity of my religion, irony in particular.”

Tags : Distrust Faith Irony Pessimism Religion Trinity
Source : The Madonnas of Echo Park

165. “Those darling byegone times, Mr Carker,' said Cleopatra, 'with their delicious fortresses, and their dear old dungeons, and their delightful places of torture, and their romantic vengeances, and their picturesque assaults and sieges, and everything that makes life truly charming! How dreadfully we have degenerated!”

Tags : Fortresses Humor Irony Medieval Middle Ages Nostalgia Torture War
Source : Dombey and Son

166. “The days are numbered for those bums over in England."German Tank commander”

Tags : British History Irony World War Ii
Author : Leo McKinstry
Source : Operation Sea Lion: The Failed Nazi Invasion that Turned the Tide of War

167. “If one cannot learn from the mistakes of others, one might as well become a Democrat.”

Tags : Elitism Irony Politics
Source : My Big Fat Supernatural Wedding

168. “En Skoemager maa og tildeels være Theologus; saa at han veed at giøre Forskiel imellem Religions-Secter: Thi eet er at arbejde for en Orthodox, som vil have tynde og undertiden forkeerte Saaler [på forkerte eller vendte såler er syningerne indad], efterdi han bruger ofte sine Fødder til Dands; et andet er at giøre Skoe for en Kiætter, sær en Fanatico, som fordømmer Dands, og heller vil have stærke Saaler, for med des større Eftertryk at kunde træde paa Verdens Forfængelighed.”

Tags : Heretic Irony Orthodox Polymath Religion Shoemaker
Source : Epistler

169. “Christ has no body now on earth but yours, no hands but yours, no feet but yours,Yours are the eyes through which to look out Christ's compassion to the worldYours are the feet with which he is to go about doing good;Yours are the hands with which he is to bless men now.”

Tags : Irony Religious Right

170. “It is the certainty that they possess the truth that makes men cruel. -Anatole France, novelist, essayist, Nobel laureate (1844-1924)”

Tags : Hubris Irony Politics

171. “Cruelty would be delicious if one could only find some sort of cruelty that didn’t really hurt.”

Tags : Cruelty Irony Malicious

172. “You know, you're rather amusingly wrong.”

Tags : Comeback Funny Humor Humorous Irony Satire Wit Witty Quotes
Source : Maskerade

173. “I don't understand this irony - valuable things like cars, gold, diamond are made up of hard materials but most valuable things like money, contracts and books are made up of soft paper.”

Tags : Amit Kalantri Amit Kalantri Quotes Book Reading Books Cars Curriculum Vitae Cv Gold Human Humans Inspirational Quotes Ironic Irony Library Library Books Money Motivation Noblest Paper Philosophy Problems Reading Reading Books Solutions Valuable Wisdom Quotes Wit Witty
Author : Amit Kalantri

174. “What do you take me for? That fool Socrates, who upheld the law at the cost of his own death – just to be ironic? I suspect that act was actually the result of his secret embarrassment of his hideous nose.”

Tags : Funny Irony Law Noses Socrates
Author : Benson Bruno
Source : A Story That Talks about Talking Is Like Chatter to Chattering Teeth, and Every Set of Dentures Can Attest to the Fact That No..

175. “During voir dire, the interviews for jury selection, each person is asked under oath about their experience with the criminal justice system, as defendant or victim, but usually not even the most elementary effort is made to corroborate those claims. One ADA [Associate District Attorney] told me about inheriting a murder case, after the first jury deadlocked. He checked the raps for the jurors and found that four had criminal records. None of those jurors were prosecuted. Nor was it policy to prosecute defense witnesses who were demonstrably lying--by providing false alibis, for example--because, as another ADA told me, if they win the case, they don't bother, and if they lose, "it looks like sour grapes." A cop told me about a brawl at court one day, when he saw court officers tackle a man who tried to escape from the Grand Jury. An undercover was testifying about a buy when the juror recognized him as someone he had sold to. Another cop told me about locking up a woman for buying crack, who begged for a Desk Appearance Ticket, because she had to get back to court, for jury duty--she was the forewoman on a Narcotics case, of course. The worst part about these stories is that when I told them to various ADAs, none were at all surprised; most of those I'd worked with I respected, but the institutionalized expectations were abysmal. They were too used to losing and it showed in how they played the game.”

Tags : Cops District Attorney Irony Jurors Jury Duty Pathetic Police The System Voir Dire
Author : Edward Conlon
Source : Blue Blood

176. “Look, he's winding up the watch of his wit; by and by it will strike.”

Tags : Fool Irony Watch Wit
Source : The Tempest

177. “Hell's bells, irony blows.”

Tags : Harry Dresden Humor Irony
Author : Jim Butcher
Source : Blood Rites

178. “It's extraordinary, the amount of misunderstandings there are even between two people who discuss a thing quite often - both of them assuming different things and neither of them discovering the discrepancy.”

Tags : Conversation Dialogue Irony Misunderstandings
Source : Towards Zero

179. “The prince of darkness is a gentleman!”

Tags : Insanity Irony
Source : King Lear

180. “There is nothing worse then being surrounded by a bunch of people telling you to do what is right, when they can't define that definition, without a lot of hatred and judgment behind it.”

Tags : Commonsense Confusion Critics Heartless Hypocrisy Irony Opinions

181. “Food is an important part of a balanced diet.”

Tags : Diet Food Irony Omnivore
Author : Fran Lebowitz

182. “What a refreshing mind you have, young man. There really is nothing quite like total ignorance, is there?”

Tags : Humor Ignorance Irony
Author : Neil Gaiman
Source : Neverwhere

183. “It is a truth widely recognized that tyranny stems from the consent of the governed as much as democracy does.”

Tags : Government Hierarchy Irony Self Rule
Source : Juggernaut: Why The System Crushes The Only People Who Can Save It

184. “Are we not all actors playing parts in another person's play?”

Tags : Action Actors Actress Comedians Connections Dark Humor Good Will Hunting Heroes Humor Irony Life Perspective Philosophy Religion Roles Romance Shakespeare Theology Viewpoint Villians Writing

185. “For the whole earth is the tomb of famous men; not only are they commemorated by columns and inscriptions in their own country, but in foreign lands there dwells also an unwritten memorial of them, graven not on stone but in the hearts of men. Make them your examples, and, esteeming courage to be freedom and freedom to be happiness, do not weigh too nicely the perils of war."[Funeral Oration of Pericles]”

Tags : Bravery Courage Fame Freedom Irony Pericles Sarcasm War
Author : Thucydides
Source : History of the Peloponnesian War

186. “The irony of sensory deprivation tanks is that in order to think outside the box, you must first go inside one.”

Tags : Box Coming Up With Ideas Creative Creativeness Creativity Float Floating Ironic Irony John C Lilly John C Lilly Tank John Lilly Lilly Outside The Box Relax Relaxation Senses Sensory Sensory Deprivation Sensory Deprivation Tank Sensory Deprivation Tanks Water Weird
Author : Ryan Lilly

187. “Where did you find construction guys swapping dirty jokes in proto-Númenorean?” Aura asked.“On construction sites. Is that coffee ready?”

Tags : Irony Satire Silliness
Author : John Barnes
Source : Raise the Gipper!

188. “And, conversely, she went on to herself, sneering at the Grand Duke's palace, poverty is wasted on the poor, who never know how to make the best of things, are only the rich without money, are just as useless at looking after themselves, can't handle their cash just like the rich can't, always squandering it on bright, pretty, useless things in just the same way.”

Tags : Foolishness Irony Money Poor Poverty Rich Wealth
Author : Angela Carter
Source : Nights at the Circus

189. “Even You-Know-Who can't split himself into seven.”

Tags : Irony Lord Voldemort Mad Eye Moody
Author : J.K. Rowling
Source : Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

190. “En Skoemager maa ogsaa være vel dreven udi Philosophia morali, og ingen Læsning er ham meere fornøden end Senecæ Tractat de Ira [Seneca's skrift Om vreden], som viser, hvorledes man maa bevæbne sig med Taalmodighed: Thi af alle Haandverks-Mænd er ingen, hvis Arbejde bliver meere mynstret og igiennemheglet end en Skoemagers.”

Tags : Irony Philosophy Polymath Seneca Shoemaker Wrath
Source : Epistler

191. “It is odd that the Bible says, ‘God created man,’ whereas it is the other way round: man has created God. It is odd that the Bible says, ‘The body is mortal, the soul is immortal,’ whereas even here the contrary is true: the body (its matter) is eternal; the soul (the form of the body) is transitory.”

Tags : Atheism Atheist Eternal Eternity Immortality Ironic Irony Matter Mortality Origin Paradox Transitory
Author : Béla Bartók

192. “Regretfully, but I have to admit that A. Einstein was right. -''Who?''. Oh, there was such a guy...”

Tags : Einstein Irony

193. “There's nothing wrong with giving up all your principles for a suitable financial reward. It is indeed the basis of our society.”

Tags : Irony Sociology
Author : Manny Rayner

194. “But the people only talked about how ugly her face looked. No one even bothered to mention what a sweet, kindhearted girl she was. Now, don’t be amazed! That is just the nature of humans, to notice the one flaw among a person’s ten good qualities.”

Tags : Human Nature Irony Sarcasm
Source : The Ugly Princess

195. “That's the beautiful thing about innocence; even monsters have a pocketful of childhood memories with which to seek comfort with.”

Tags : Beat Book Childhood Comfort Death Drums Eternity Guitar Hate Innocence Irony Love Memories Monsters Music Rock And Roll Stage
Author : Dave Matthes
Source : Sleepeth Not, the Bastard

196. “Look, Laszlo. I'll have the dentist with me, and I don't want to alarm her any more than necessary. So take Vanna out of the backseat and stick her in the trunk."Shanna halted. Her mouth dropped open. Her throat seized up, making it hard to breathe.I don't care how much crap you have in the trunk. We're not driving around with a naked body in the car."Oh no! She gasped for air. He was a hit man.”

Tags : Humor Irony
Source : How to Marry a Millionaire Vampire

197. “Peter sank. "I'd give anything to see time.”

Tags : Immortality Irony Neverland Peter Pan Time
Source : Tiger Lily

198. “I had never seen a real live dead person.”

Tags : Curiosity Curious Innocence Irony

199. “Irony of the world is that it wants to simplify the complexity and complicate the simplicity.”

Tags : Ca Vikram Verma Chartered Accountant Complex Complicate Guru With Guitar Gwg Irony Motivational Quotes Simplicity Simplify Vikram Vikram Verma Vikrmn World
Author : Vikrmn
Source : Guru with Guitar

200. “But I made an issue of the precise wording of the vows. I wanted liberalized ones, with no outmoded Pauline nonsense exacting from the bride the promise to 'obey' the groom. Here I put my foot down, rather in the manner of a husband determined to show at the outset who was boss. 'I'll have no obedience around here!' I said, banging the table. 'Is that clear?''Is it an order?''Yes.”

Tags : Christian Marriage Irony Wedding Vows
Source : The Blood of the Lamb