Rick Riordan Quotes

/ Author List / Rick Riordan

1. “She'd also called me brave...unless she was talking to the catfish.”

Tags : Bravery Fish Humor
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lightning Thief

2. “Can you surf really well, then?"I looked at Grover, who was trying hard not to laugh."Jeez, Nico," I said. "I've never really tried."He went on asking questions. Did I fight a lot with Thalia, since she was a daughter of Zeus? (I didn't answer that one.) If Annabeth's mother was Athena, the goddess of wisdom, then why didn't Annabeth know better than to fall off a cliff? (I tried not to strangle Nico for asking that one.) Was Annabeth my girlfriend? (At this point, I was ready to stick the kid in a meat-flavored sack and throw him to the wolves.)”

Tags : Annabeth Chase Athena Funny Humor Myth Mythology Olympians Percy Jackson Posiedon The Lightning Thief Zeus
Author : Rick Riordan

3. “Don't feel bad, I'm usually about to die.”

Tags : Death Greek Humor Mythology Percy Jackson Sorry
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Battle of the Labyrinth

4. “And it was pretty much the best underwater kiss of all time.”

Tags : Kissing Mythology Percy Jackson
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Last Olympian

5. “Everyone thinks you've been kidnapped," he said. "We've been scouring the ship. When Coach Hedge finds out- oh, gods, you've been here all night?""Frank!" Annabeth's ears were as red as strawberries. "We just came down here to talk. We fell asleep. Accidentally. That's it.""Kissed a couple of times," Percy said.Annabeth glared at him. "Not helping!”

Tags : Found Funny Humor Kissing Lol Oh My God Percy Otp Foreva
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Mark of Athena

6. “Can we just call them storm spirits?” Leo asked. “Venti makes them sound like evil espresso drinks.”

Tags : Labels Leo Lost Hero
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lost Hero

7. “My son will not allow any fires tonight," Gaea said from the depths of the warehouse. "He is the void that consumes all magic, the cold that consumes all fire, the silence that consumes all speech."Leo wanted to shout: "And I’m the dude that’s all out of here!”

Tags : All Out Consumes Dude Fire Leo Gaea Void Warehouse
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The House of Hades

8. “Legion, cuneum formate!’ Reyna yelled. ‘Advance!’ Another cheer on Jason’s right as Percy and Annabeth reunited with the forces of Camp Half-Blood. ‘Greeks!’ Percy yelled. ‘Let’s, um, fight stuff!’ They yelled like banshees and charged. Jason grinned. He loved the Greeks. They had no organization whatsoever, but they made up for it with enthusiasm.”

Tags : Battle Family Home Jason Grace Percy Jackson Reyna War
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Blood of Olympus

9. “If my life is going to mean anything, I have to live it myself.”

Tags : Inspirational Life Meaning
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lightning Thief

10. “Pluto's pauldrons,” Reyna cursed.”

Tags : Cursing Heroes Of Olympus Percy Jackson And The Olympians Pluto Reyna The Mark Of Athena
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Mark of Athena

11. “Well,” I said, “you obviously have some power. You chased off those hooligans with rotten fruit. Perhaps you have banana-kinesis? Or you can control garbage? I once knew a Roman goddess, Cloacina, who presided over the city’s sewer system. Perhaps you’re related…?”Meg pouted. I got the impression I might have said something wrong, though I couldn’t imagine what.”

Tags : Apollo Humor Meg Mccaffrey Stupidity
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Hidden Oracle

12. “Young people don't always do what they're told, but if they can pull it off and do something wonderful, sometimes they escape punishment. ”

Tags : Children Punishment Young People Youth
Author : Rick Riordan

13. “He was dressed just like on TV, with lots of silver chains and bracelets, ripped jeans, and a black muscle shirt (Which was kind of stupid, since he didn't have any muscles).”

Tags : Humor Muscle Shirt Stupid
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Maze of Bones

14. “Humans see what they want to see.”

Tags : Humanity Humans Mankind Perception Self Delusion Willful Ignorance
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lightning Thief

15. “Wow," Thalia muttered. "Apollo is hot." "He's the sun god," I said."That's not what I meant.”

Tags : Apollo Gods Hot Olympians Percy Jackson Sun Thalia
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Titan's Curse

16. “She glared at me like she was about to punch me, but then she did something that surprised me even more. She kissed me."Be careful seaweed brain." She said putting on her invisible cap and disappearing.I probably would have sat there all day, trying to remember my name, but then the sea demons came.”

Tags : Demons God Gods Greek Kiss
Author : Rick Riordan

17. “Oh no." I said panic rising in my chest. "No, no, no, Somebody get a can opener. I've got a god in my head!!”

Tags : Gods Possession
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Red Pyramid

18. “Very well! It shall be as you say. But my son, pray this works.I am praying. I'm talking to you, right?Oh...yes. Good point. Amphitrite - incoming!”

Tags : Gods Percy Poseidon Pray
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Last Olympian

19. “I still don't understand what a sea god would be doing in Atlanta."Leo snorted. "What's a wine god doing in Kansas? Gods are weird.”

Tags : Gods Heroes Of Olympus Leo Valdez Percy Jackson Percy Jackson And The Olympians The Mark Of Athena
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Mark of Athena

20. “Aretmis gripped her bow. “Let us pray I am wrong.”Can goddesses pray?”

Tags : Artemis Goddess Goddesses Gods Percy Jackson
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Titan's Curse

21. “Apollo?” I guessed…He put a finger to his lips. “I’m incognito. Call me Fred.”A god named Fred?”

Tags : Apollo Gods Olympians Percy Jackson
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Titan's Curse

22. “Did someone just call me the wine dude?” he asked in a lazy drawl. “It’s Bacchus, please. Or Mr. Bacchus. Or Lord Bacchus. Or, sometimes, Oh-My-Gods-Please-Don’t-Kill-Me, Lord Bacchus.”

Tags : Bacchus Dionysus Gods Humor Names Percy Jackson And The Olympians The Heroes Of Olympus The Mark Of Athena
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Mark of Athena

23. “That’s us,” he said. “Those five nuts right there.”Which one is me?” I asked.The little deformed one,” Zoe suggested.Oh, shut up.”

Tags : Funny Gods Grover Percy Jackson Zoe
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Titan's Curse

24. “He’d learned years ago it was better not to dwell too much on who was related to whom on the godly side of things. After Tyson the Cyclops adopted him as a brother, Percy decided that that was about as far as he wanted to extend the family.”

Tags : Family Gods Percy Jackson Percy Jackson And The Olympians The Heroes Of Olympus The Mark Of Athena Tyson
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Mark of Athena

25. “It's useless to lecture a human.”

Tags : Human Percy Jackson Stubborn
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lightning Thief

26. “Families are messy. Immortal families are eternally messy. Sometimes the best we can do is to remind each other that we're related for better or for worse...and try to keep the maiming and killing to a minimum.”

Tags : Family
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Sea of Monsters

27. “My dear young cousin, if there's one thing I've learned over the eons, it's that you can't give up on your family, no matter how tempting they make it.”

Tags : Family
Author : Rick Riordan

28. “Hermes gazed up at the stars. 'My dear young cousin, if there's one thing I've learned over the eons, it's that you can't give up on your family, no matter how tempting they make it. It doesn't matter if they hate you, or embarrass you, or simply don't appreciate your genius for inventing the Internet--”

Tags : Family Relatives
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Sea of Monsters

29. “I could have killed you.”“Or I could have killed you,” Percy said. Jason shrugged. “If there’d been an ocean in Kansas, maybe.”“I don’t need an ocean—”“Boys,” Annabeth interrupted, “I’m sure you both would’ve been wonderful at killing each other. But right now, you need some rest.”Food first,” Percy said. “Please?”

Tags : Annabeth Chase Food Heroes Of Olympus Jason Grace Percy Jackson Percy Jackson And The Olympians The Mark Of Athena
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Mark of Athena

30. “Like water leaking through a dam," said Piper."Yeah," smiled Percy. "We've got a dam hole.""What?" Piper asked."Nothing," he said. "Inside joke.”

Tags : Humour
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Mark of Athena

31. “Amy, Dan, and Nellie were sitting at a table in a conference room, examining reproductions of Franklin documents-some so rare, the librarians told her, the only copies existed in Paris. "Yeah, here's a rare grocery list," Dan muttered. "Wow.”

Tags : Benjamin Franklin Cahill Humor Rare Sarcasm
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Maze of Bones

32. “Leo: Rainbows. Very macho.Annabeth: Butch is our best equestrian, he gets along great with the pegasi.Leo: Rainbows, ponies...Butch: I'm gonna toss you off this chariot.”

Tags : Annabeth Chase Butch Leo Valdez Machismo Masculinity
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lost Hero

33. “Your mom is a rainbow goddess?""You got a problem with that?""No, no. Rainbows. Very macho.”

Tags : Butch Iris Leo
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lost Hero

34. “People are more difficult to work with than machines. And when you break a person, he can't be fixed.”

Tags : Machines People
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Battle of the Labyrinth

35. “It's funny how humans can wrap their mind around things and fit them into their version of reality.”

Tags : Humanity Humans Mankind Reality
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lightning Thief

36. “The real world is where the monsters are.”

Tags : Monsters Reality World
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lightning Thief

37. “You promised you would protect her Nico said. He might as well have stabbed me with a rusty dagger.It would've hurt less than reminding me of my promise.”

Tags : Nico Di Angelo Percy Jackson Promises
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Titan's Curse

38. “Why can't you place a blessing like that on us?" I asked."It only works on wild animals.""So it would only affect Percy," Annabeth reasoned."Hey!" I protested.”

Tags : Annabeth Chase Banter Grover Underwood Percy Jackson
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lightning Thief

39. “Remind me again-why do you hate me so much?"I don't hate you."Could've fooled me."She folded her cap of invisibility. "Look...we're just not supposed to get along, okay? Our parents are rivals."Why?"She sighed. "How many reasons do you want? One time my mom caught Poseidon with his girlfriend in Athena's temple, which is hugely disrespectful. Another time, Athena and Poseidon competed to be the patron god for the city of Athens. Your dad created some stupid saltwater spring for his gift. My mom created the olive tree. The people saw that her gift was better, so they named the city after her."They must really like olives."Oh, forget it."Now, if she'd invented pizza-that I could understand.”

Tags : Annabeth Chase Athena Banter Percy Jackson Poseidon
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lightning Thief

40. “Leo: “I can’t believe I thought you were hot.” Khione’s face turned red. “Hot? You dare insult me? I am cold, Leo Valdez. Very, very cold.”

Tags : Leo Lost Hero
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lost Hero

41. “Oh, and Drew, honey?” The former counselor looked back reluctantly.“In case you think I’m not a true daughter of Aphrodite,” Piper said, “don’t even look at Jason Grace. He may not know it yet, but he’s mine. If you even try to make a move, I will load you into a catapult and shoot you across Long Island Sound.”Drew turned around so fast, she ran into the doorframe. Then she was gone.”

Tags : Drew Lost Hero Piper
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lost Hero

42. “Shut up, me,” Leo said aloud.“What?” Piper asked.“Nothing,” he said. “Long night. I think I’m hallucinating. It’s cool.” Sitting in front, Leo couldn’t see their faces, but he assumed from their silence that his friends were not pleased to have a sleepless, hallucinating dragon driver.“Just joking.” Leo decided it might be good to change the subject.”

Tags : Jason Leo Lost Hero Piper
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lost Hero

43. “Piper patted his shoulder. “Trust me, Valdez. Beautiful people never lie.”

Tags : Lost Hero Piper
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lost Hero

44. “They both (Thalia and Hera) glared at her, and for three long seconds, Piper wasn’t sure which one of them was going to kill her first.”

Tags : Hera Lost Hero Piper Thalia
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lost Hero

45. “Die!--Gleeson Hedge”

Tags : Hedge Lost Hero
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lost Hero

46. “Jason turned to Leo. “Do you think you can fly this thing?”“Um…” Leo put his hand on the side of the helicopter, concentrating hard, as if listening to the machine.“Bell 412HP utility helicopter,” Leo said. “Composite four-blade main rotor, cruising speed twenty-two knots, service ceiling twenty-thousand feet. The tank is near full. Sure, I can fly it.”Piper smiled at the ranger again. “You din’t have a problem with an under-aged unlicensed kid borrowing your copter, do you? We’ll return it.”“I-“ The pilot nearly choked on the words, but she got them out: “I don’t have a problem with that.”Leo grinned. “Hop in kids, Uncle Leo’s gonna take you for a ride.”

Tags : Jason Grace Leo Valdez Lost Hero Piper Mclean
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lost Hero

47. “She’s pretty,” Zethes mumbled. “I mean, she’s right.”

Tags : Lost Hero Zethes
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lost Hero

48. “Jason muttered "And I saw something...Really terrible.""That was Hera," Thalia grumbled, "Her Majesty, the Loose Cannon.""That's it, Thalia Grace," Said the goddess. "I will turn you into and aardvark, so help me-" "Stop it, you two," Piper said. Amazingly, they both shut up.”

Tags : Hera Heroes Of Olympus Jason Grace Lost Hero Piper Mclean Thalia Grace
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lost Hero

49. “Hi,” Piper said, as casually as she could. “We’re back.”

Tags : Lost Hero Piper
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lost Hero

50. “If i fall your catching me" Piper said as she grabbed Jasons arm"Uh...sure" Jason hoped he wasn't blushingLeo stepped out next "Your catching me too superman, but i ain't holding your hand" - The Lost Hero, Aeolus place”

Tags : Lost Hero
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lost Hero

51. “you know festus means happy in Latin right? You want us to go save the world on Happy the dragon?"-Jason to Leo in the lost hero”

Tags : Lost Hero
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lost Hero

52. “You began your journey here as a pup. Now you must find your way back. A new quest, a new start.”

Tags : Lost Hero
Author : Rick Riordan

53. “Delaying death is one of my favorite hobbies”

Tags : Attacked Death Delaying Humor Leo The Mark Of Athena
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Mark of Athena

54. “Is that me?,' Leo said. 'Like me--having this dream--looking at me having a dream?”

Tags : Confusion Dreams Hephaestus Leo
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lost Hero

55. “That's what happens when it snows in Texas lady. It. Freaking. Melts.”

Tags : Leo
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lost Hero

56. “anyway. Leo said, I hope you've got your worksheet, 'cause I used mine for spit wads days ago. Why are you looking at me like that? Somebody draw on my face again?”

Tags : Humor Leo
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lost Hero

57. “Leo. Jason said, you're wierd. Yeah, you tell me that a lot. Leo grinned. But if you don't remember me, that means I can reuse all my old jokes. Come on!”

Tags : Funny Haha Humor Leo
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lost Hero

58. “You kidding? So many preservatives in these things, I'll live forever.”

Tags : Bloodofolympus Fonzies Hazel Humor Leo Mcschizzle
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Blood of Olympus

59. “Leo resisted the urge to throw a grenade in Frank's face. "I suppose I should know who Pelops was?""He was a prince, won his wife in a chariot race. Supposedly he started the Olympic games in honor of that."Hazel sniffed. "How romantic. 'Nice wife you have, Prince Pelops.' 'Thanks. I won her in a chariot race.”

Tags : Chariot Race Frank Hazel Leo Prince Pelops Prize Totally Romantic Wife
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Blood of Olympus

60. “Leo grabbed the neasrest thing he could find- a Porta-Potty seat- and threw it at the face. Leve me alone!”

Tags : Hero Humor Leo
Author : Rick Riordan

61. “Leo scratched his head. Well, I dunno about enchiladas- "Enceladus" Piper corrected. Whatever. But Old Potty Face mentioned another name. Porpoise Fear, or something?”

Tags : Humor Leo Potty Face
Author : Rick Riordan

62. “Jason scratched his head. "You named him Festus? You know that in Latin, ‘festus’ means ‘happy’? You want us to ride off to save the world on Happy the Dragon?”

Tags : Jason Names
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lost Hero

63. “Names have power.”

Tags : Conjuring Names Power
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lightning Thief

64. “You know how hard it is to feel like an extreme falcon-headed combat machine when somebody calls you "chicken man"?”

Tags : Battle Humor Names Sobriquet
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Red Pyramid

65. “Knowing too much of your future is never a good thing.”

Tags : Fate Future Knowledge
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lightning Thief

66. “I need a free hand for slapping you when you act stupid.”

Tags : Meg
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Hidden Oracle

67. “Right," Sadie said. "And Set will just stand there calmly while I read him to death.”

Tags : Battle Humor
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Red Pyramid

68. “Ella was fluttering above him, dodging missiles and calling out advice: "The groin. The Earthborn's groin is sensitive."SMASH!"Good. Yes. Tyson found its groin.”

Tags : Battle Humor Tyson
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Son of Neptune

69. “Beckendorf walked up with his helmet under his arm. 'She likes you, man.''Sure,' I muttered. 'She likes me for target practice.''Nah, they always do that. A girl starts trying to kill you, you know she's into you.'Makes a lot of sense.”

Tags : Annabeth Beckendorf Charles Chase Jackson Percy
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Demigod Files

70. “What-what do you want?" Annabeth asked, trying to maintain a tone of confidence.The voice cackled maliciously.'To curse you, of course! To destroy you thousand times in the name of Mother Night!'"Only a thousand times?" Percy murmured. "Oh, good...I thought we were in trouble.”

Tags : Annabeth Annabeth Chase Chase Hades House Jackson Mother Mother Night Night Of Percy Percy Jackson The Thousand Times
Author : Rick Riordan

71. “Save yourselves!” Percy warned. “It is too late for us!”Then he gasped and pointed to the spot where Frank was hiding. “Oh, no! Frank is turning into a crazy dolphin!”Nothing happened. “I said,” Percy repeated, “Frank is turning into a crazy dolphin!”Frank stumbled out of nowhere, making a big show of grabbing his throat. “Oh, no,” he said, like he was reading from a teleprompter. “I am turning into a crazy dolphin.”He began to change, his nose elongating into a snout, his skin becoming sleek and gray. He fell to the deck as a dolphin, his tail thumping against the boards. The pirate crew disbanded in terror.”

Tags : Animal Transformation Frank Zhang Heroes Of Olympus Percy Jackson Percy Jackson And The Olympians Pirates The Mark Of Athena
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Mark of Athena

72. “But yes. Come, faulty dragon people. Follow us.”

Tags : Dragon Half Blood
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lost Hero

73. “He looked like those paintings of baby angels - what do you call them, hubbubs? No cherubs. That's it. He looked like a cherub who'd turned middle-aged in a trailer park.”

Tags : Angel Cherub Mr D Putto
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lightning Thief

74. “It's hard to enjoy practical jokes when your whole life feels like one.”

Tags : Enjoy Humor Joke Prank
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Last Olympian

75. “Getting some redecorating ideas?’ Nico asked. ‘Maybe you could do your dining room in mediaeval monk skulls.’ Hades arched an eyebrow. ‘I can never tell when you’re joking.”

Tags : Family Joke
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Blood of Olympus

76. “I turned to Dionysus. "You cured him?""Madness is my specialty. It was quite simple.""But...you did something nice. Why?"He raised and eyebrow. "I am nice! I simple ooze niceness, Perry Johansson. Haven't you noticed?”

Tags : Dionysus Humor Madness Nice Percy Jackson Sarcasm
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Battle of the Labyrinth

77. “Very slowly using two fingers, Annabeth drew her dagger. Instead of dropping it, she tossed it as far as she could into the water. Octavian made a squeaking sound. "What was that for? I didn't say toss it! That could've been evidence. Or spoils of war!"Annabeth tried for a dumb-blonde smile, like: Oh, silly me. Nobody who knew her would have been fooled. But Octavian seemed to buy it. He huffed in exasperation. "You other two..." He pointed his blade a Hazel and Piper. "Put your weapons on the dock. No funny bus--"All around the Romans, Charleston Harbor erupted like a Las Vegas fountain putting on a show. When the wall of seawater subsided, the three Romans were in the bay, spluttering and frantically trying to stay afloat in their armor. Percy stood on the dock, holding Annabeth's dagger. "You dropped this," he said, totally poker-faced.”

Tags : Annabeth Chase Fighting Octavian Percy Jackson Seawater Smile
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Mark of Athena

78. “Percy, let me go" she croaked. "You can't pull me up."His face was white with effort. She could see in his eyes that he knew it was hopeless."Never," he said. He looked up at Nico, fifteen feet above. "The other side, Nico! We'll see you there. Understand?"Nico's eyes widened. "But-""Lead them!" Percy shouted. "Promise me!""I-I will."Below them, the voice laughed in the darkness. Sacrifices. Beautiful sacrifices to wake the goddess. Percy tightened his grip on Annabeth's wrist. His face was gaunt, scraped and bloody, his hair dusted with cobwebs, but when he locked eyes with her, she thought he had never looked more handsome."We're staying together," he promised. "You're not getting away from me. Never again."Only then did she understand what would happen. A one-way trip. A very hard fall."As long as we're together," she said.She heard Nico and Hazel still screaming for help. She saw sunlight far, far above- maybe the last sunlight she would ever see.Then Percy let go of his ledge, and together, holding hands, he and Annabeth fell into the endless darkness.”

Tags : Sadness
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Mark of Athena

79. “I'm Dylan. I'm so cool. I want to date myself, but I don't know how! You want to date me instead? You're so lucky!”

Tags : Annabeth Chase Conceit Percy Jackson Self Esteem
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lost Hero

80. “But remember, boy, that a kind act can sometimes be as powerful as a sword.”

Tags : Inspirational Kind Kindness Powerful Sword
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Battle of the Labyrinth

81. “Percy (to Annabeth): If I was going to pick one person in the world to reattach my head, I'd pick you.Silena: Awww . . . Percy, that is so sweet!Annabeth: Shut up, Silena.”

Tags : Sweet
Author : Rick Riordan

82. “We're staying together," he promised. "You're not getting away from me. Never again.”

Tags : Annabeth Chase Emotion Heartbreak Love Percy Jackson
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Mark of Athena

83. “I felt like one of Apollo's sacred cows- slow, dumb, and bright red.”

Tags : Humor Simile
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Last Olympian

84. “With great power... comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later.”

Tags : Nico
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Last Olympian

85. “Let us find the dam snack bar," Zoe said. "We should eat while we can."Grover cracked a smile. "The dam snack bar?"Zoe blinked. "Yes. What is funny?""Nothing," Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. "I could use some dam french fries."Even Thalia smiled at that. "And I need to use the dam restroom."...I started cracking up, and Thalia and Grover joined in, while Zoe just looked at me. "I do not understand.""I want to use the dam water fountain," Grover said."And..." Thalia tried to catch her breath. "I want to buy a dam t-shirt.”

Tags : Humor
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Titan's Curse

86. “It's okay,” he said. “We're together.” He didn't say you're okay, or we're alive. After all they'd been through over the last year, he knew that the most important thing was that they were together. She loved him for saying that.”

Tags : Absence Annabeth Chase Heroes Of Olympus Inspirational Love Percy Jackson Percy Jackson And The Olympians Relationship Separation The Mark Of Athena
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Mark of Athena

87. “And,” Annabeth continued, “it reminds me how long we’ve known each other. We were twelve, Percy. Can you believe that?”“No, he admitted. “So…you knew you liked me from that moment?”She smirked. “I hated you at first. You annoyed me. Then I tolerated you for a few years. Then—”“Okay, fine.”She leaned in and kissed: him a good, proper kiss without anyone watching—no Romans anywhere, no screaming satyr chaperones. She pulled away. “I missed you, Percy.”Percy wanted to tell her the same thing, but it seemed too small a comment. While he had been on the Roman side, he’d kept himself alive almost solely by thinking of Annabeth. I missed you didn’t really cover that.”

Tags : Absence Annabeth Chase Heroes Of Olympus Missing You Percy Jackson Percy Jackson And The Olympians Romance Separation The Mark Of Athena
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Mark of Athena

88. “You never know!” Neith snapped. “The point is, I’ll survive the apocalypse. I can live off the land!” She jabbed a finger at me. “Did you know the palm tree has six different edible parts?”“Um—”“And I’ll never be bored,” Neith continued, “since I’m also the goddess of weaving. I have enough twine for a millennium of macramé!”I had no reply, as I wasn’t sure what macramé was.”

Tags : Edible Goddess Land Macrame Palm Tree Rick Riordan Weaving
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Serpent's Shadow

89. “everybody-even monsters-needed a little attention once in a while.”

Tags : Caring
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lightning Thief

90. “It takes strength and courage to admit the truth.”

Tags : Courage Honesty Self Disclosure Truth Telling
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Red Pyramid

91. “The wolf Lupa had told him that mortal minds could believe just about anything—except the truth.”

Tags : Belief Comfort Deception False Comfort Honesty Lies Mind Society Society Problem Truth
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Son of Neptune

92. “The name says it all. That's where Dad (Hades) tries out his new punishment ideas, but he says the traditional ones still work best: the lava flows, the minefields full of exploding surprises, burning at the stake, running naked through cactus patches... You name it, we've got it here - Nico di Angelo”

Tags : Fields Of Punishment Hades Nico Di Angelo Torture
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Ultimate Guide

93. “You might as well ask an artist to explain his art, or ask a poet to explain his poem. It defeats the purpose. The meaning is only clear thorough the search.”

Tags : Art Artist Painting Poem Poet Poetry
Author : Rick Riordan

94. “Whenever Percy stopped by to see [Annabeth], she was so lost in thought that the conversation went something like this:Percy: 'Hey, how's it going?'Annabeth: 'Uh, no thanks.'Percy: 'Okay...have you eaten anything today?'Annabeth: 'I think Leo is on duty. Ask him.'Percy: 'So, my hair is on fire.'Annabeth: 'Okay, in a while.”

Tags : Conversation Cute Distracted Hair On Fire Mark Of Athena Not Listening Percy And Annabeth Question And Answer
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Mark of Athena

95. “Piper!” Frank yelled. “Counter those empousai! We need some chaos.” “Thought you’d never ask.” She started catcalling at the female demons: “Your makeup is smeared! Your friend called you ugly! That one is making a face behind your back!”

Tags : Catcalling Frank Piper
Author : Rick Riordan

96. “Hmm…” Jason snapped his fingers. “I can call a friend for a ride.”Percy raised his eyebrows. “Oh, yeah? Me too. Let's see whose friend gets here first.”

Tags : Competition Flying Horses Heroes Of Olympus Humor Jason Grace Percy Jackson Percy Jackson And The Olympians The Mark Of Athena
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Mark of Athena

97. “The sea does not like to be restrained. ”

Tags : Sea
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lightning Thief

98. “Yeah! Bring it on lake!" -Coach Gleeson Hedge”

Tags : Die Humor Lake Mark Of Athena
Author : Rick Riordan

99. “It seemed weird calling a teenager 'sir' but I'd learned to be careful with immortals. They tended to get offended easily. Then, they blew stuff up.”

Tags : Explosions Humor Immortals Teenager
Author : Rick Riordan

100. “My name is Percy Jackson. I'm twelve years old. Until a few months ago, I was a boarding student at Yancy Academy, a private school for troubled kids in upstate New York.Am I a troubled kid?Yeah. You could say that.”

Tags : Different Humor Introduction Percy Jackson School Trouble
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lightning Thief

101. “June cackled with delight, muttering, "Whoops!" as a car almost killed them.”

Tags : Funny Hilarious Humor June Laugh At Loud Rick Riordan The Son Of Neptune
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Son of Neptune

102. “You must carry on my spirit. It can no longer be carried by a god. It must be taken up by all of you. - Pan”

Tags : Nature Pan
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Battle of the Labyrinth

103. “Remake the wild, a little at a time, each in your own corner of the world. You cannot wait for anyone else, even a god, to do that for you.”

Tags : Grover Underwood Pan
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Battle of the Labyrinth

104. “You can’t burn me.”

Tags : Cool Leo Valdez
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lost Hero

105. “The Friday before winter break, my mom packed me an overnight bag and a few deadly weapons and took me to a new boarding school.”

Tags : Cool Fantasy Fiction Funny Intense
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Titan's Curse

106. “The way to beat Luke," he said. "If I'm right, it's the only way you'll stand a chance."I took a deep breath. "Okay. I'm listening."Nico glanced inside my room. His eyebrows furrowed."Is that...is that blue birthday cake?"He sounded hungry, maybe a little wistful. I wondered if the poor kid had ever had a birthday party, or if he'd ever even been invited to one.:Come inside for cake and ice cream," I said. "It sounds like we've got a lot to talk about.”

Tags : Birthday Blue Food Nico Di Angelo Percy Jackson
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Battle of the Labyrinth

107. “I’m sorry I can’t do more. But happy birthday, Sadie.” He leaned forward and kissed me on the lips.”

Tags : Anubis Birthday Cute Kiss Lips Love Sadie Kane Sweet
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Throne of Fire

108. “She had to go on this quest. The fate of the world might depend on it. But part of him wanted to say: Forget the world. He didn’t want to be without her.”

Tags : Destiny Fate Forget Friendship Love Otp Saving The World World
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Mark of Athena

109. “Jason’s heart lifted when he saw Nico di Angelo on the front lines with the Greeks, slashing his way through a crowd of two-headed men.”

Tags : Friendship Jason Grace Nido Di Angelo Reunion
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Blood of Olympus

110. “Afterward, I had the last laugh. I made an air bubble at the bottom of the lake. Our friends kept waiting for us to come up, but hey-when you are the son of Poseidon, you don't have to hurry. And it was pretty much the best underwater kiss of all time.”

Tags : Cute Isaiat Kiss Love Mart Percy Jackson Underwater
Author : Rick Riordan

111. “Leo,” Hazel gasped, “I can’t—my arms—”“Hazel,” he said. “Do you trust me?”“No!”“Me neither,” Leo admitted.”

Tags : Funny Humor Leo I Love You Ok Lol Trust
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Mark of Athena

112. “When I was alive, I mean the first time, Mussolini was in charge. We were at war.”“Mussolini?” Leo frowned. “Wasn’t he like BFFs with Hitler?”

Tags : Funny Hazel Levesque Leo Valdez Lol
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Mark of Athena

113. “While Leo fussed over his helm controls, Hazel and Frank relayed the story of the fish-centaurs and their training camp.'Incredible,' Jason said. 'These are really good brownies.''That's your only comment?' Piper demanded.He looked surprised. 'What? I heard the story. Fish-centaurs. Merpeople. Letter of intro to the Tiber River god. Got it. But these brownies--''I know,' Frank said, his mouth full. 'Try them with Ester's peach preserves.''That,' Hazel said, 'is incredibly disgusting.''Pass me the jar, man,' Jason said.Hazel and Piper exchanged a look of total exasperation. Boys.”

Tags : Boys Brownies Eating Esther Food Incredibly Disgusting Jar Mark Of Athena Peach Preserves Story Telling
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Mark of Athena

114. “I didn't answer, but, please—nothing is obvious with boys. For such simple creatures, they are quite baffling.”

Tags : Boys Rick Riordan
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Throne of Fire

115. “We were just looking at maps...”

Tags : Excuse Humor Map
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Battle of the Labyrinth

116. “You stood up to the dragon so Beckendorf would have his chance to jump - now that was brave.""Or pretty stupid.""Percy, you're a brave guy," she said. "Just take the compliment. I swear, is it so hard?”

Tags : Annabeth Chase Beckendorf Compliment Percy Jackson
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Demigod Files

117. “No,’ Nico said. ‘Getting a second life is one thing. Making it a better life, that’s the trick.’ As soon as he said it, Nico realized he could’ve been talking about himself. He decided not to bring that up.”

Tags : Death Life Nico Di Angelo Second Chances Wisdom
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Blood of Olympus

118. “...good things, important things, should be eternal.”

Tags : Eternal Good Things
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Throne of Fire

119. “Don't die on me," she ordered. "You are not dying on me.""Yes, ma'am." He felt light-headed, but she was about the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. Her hair was smoldering. Her face was smudged with soot. She had a cut on her arm, her dress was torn, and she was missing a boot. Beautiful.”

Tags : Beauty Care Hope Love
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lost Hero

120. “When Nico had woken up at Barrachina and found the Hunters’ note about kidnapping Reyna, he’d torn apart the courtyard in rage. He didn’t want the Hunters stealing another important person from him. Fortunately, he’d got Reyna back, but he didn’t like how brooding she had become. Every time he tried to ask her about the incident on the Calle San Jose – those ghosts on the balcony, all staring at her, whispering accusations – Reyna shut him down.”

Tags : Care Family Friendship Love
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Blood of Olympus

121. “Then Thalia Grace became their leader and started recruiting even more young women to their cause, which grated on Nico – as if Bianca’s death could be forgotten. As if she could be replaced.”

Tags : Anger Death Grudge Love
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Blood of Olympus

122. “Not long," Zia said. "I wanted to talk to you before [Carter and Amos] come back." [Sadie] raised an eyebrow. "About Carter? Well, if you're wondering whether he likes you, the way he stammers might be an indication." Zia frowned. "No, I'm—" "Asking if I mind? Very considerate. I must say at first I had my doubts, what with you threatening to kill us and all, but I've decided you're not the bad sort, and Carter's mad about you, so—" "It's not about Carter." "Oops. Could you just forget what I said, then?”

Tags : Carter Kane Forget What I Said Sadie Kane Talk Zia
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Red Pyramid

123. “Strange things conspire when one tries to cheat fate”

Tags : Fate Karma
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Son of Neptune

124. “[Iris] squeezed his hand. "Don't lose hope, Frank. Rainbows always stand for hope.”

Tags : Frank Zhang Heroes Of Olympus Hope Iris Percy Jackson And The Olympians Rainbows The Son Of Neptune
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Son of Neptune

125. “Oh, come on!’ Percy complained. ‘I get a little nosebleed and I wake up the entire earth? That’s not fair!”

Tags : Justice Nosebleed Percy Jackson What Even
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Blood of Olympus

126. “Right," she said, "We're going to the Land of the Dead and I shouldn't think negative.”

Tags : Annabeth Chase Humor Negative Percy Jackson Positive Underworld
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lightning Thief

127. “Gaea?” Leo shook his head. “Isn’t that Mother Nature? She’s supposed to have, like, flowers in her hair and birds singing around her and dear and rabbits doing her laundry.”“Leo, that’s Snow White,” Piper said.”

Tags : Fairy Tales Gaea Leo Valdez Piper Mclean
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lost Hero

128. “Nothing is more tragic than loving someone to the depths of your soul and knowing they cannot and will not ever love you back.”

Tags : Love Quotes
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Hidden Oracle

129. “I have lightning and wind powers," Jason reminded him. "Piper can turn beautiful and charm people into giving her BMWs. You're no more a freak than we are. And, hey, maybe you can fly, too. Like jump off a building and yell 'Flame on!'"Leo snorted. "If I did that, you would see a flaming kid falling to his death, and I would be yelling something a little stronger than 'Flame on!”

Tags : Fire Funny Humor Powers The Lost Hero
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lost Hero

130. “Stars," she whispered. "I can see the stars again, my lady."A tear trickled down Artemis's cheek. "Yes, my brave one. They are beautiful tonight."Stars," Zoe repeated. Her eyes fixed on the night sky. And she did not move again.”

Tags : Death
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Titan's Curse

131. “It wasn’t easy looking dignified wearing a bed sheet and a purple cape.”

Tags : Blood Camp Greek Half Jackson Jupiter Neptune Percy Rome Son
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Son of Neptune

132. “I see murky visions of other gods and rival magic."That REALLY didn't sound good."What do you mean?" I asked. "what OTHER GODS?""I don't know, Sadie. But Egypt has always faced challenges from outside –– magicians from elsewhere, even gods from elsewhere. Just be vigilant."~Ruby & Sadie Kane about...? Possibly Greeks?”

Tags : Egypt Gods Greek Ruby Kane Sadie Kane
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Serpent's Shadow

133. “Very good, Jason Grace," Notus said. "You are a son of Jupiter, yet you have chosen your own path- as all the greatest demigods have done before you. You cannot control your parentage, but you can choose your legacy.”

Tags : Demigod Greek Hero Heroes Of Olympus Heroism House Of Hades Jason Grace Legacy Percy Jackson Rick Riordan Roman Self
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The House of Hades

134. “The wine god sighed. 'Oh Hades if I know. But remember, boy, that a kind act can sometimes be as powerful as a sword. As a mortal, I was never a great fighter or athlete or poet. I only made wine. The people in my village laughed at me. They said I would never amount to anything. Look at me now. Sometimes small things can become very large indeed.' He left me alone to think about that. And as I watched Clarisse and Chris singing a stupid campfire song together, holding hands in the darkness, where they thought nobody could see them, I had to smile.”

Tags : Cute Gods Greek Greek Gods Greek Mythology Inspirational Kindness Percy Jackson Smile Wine God
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Battle of the Labyrinth

135. “He raised an eyebrow. "You claim not to know me? Of course I'm Thoth. Also called Djehuti. Also called--"I [Sadie] stifled a laugh. "Ja-hooty?"Thoth looked offended. "In Ancient Egyptian, it's a perfectly fine name. The Greeks called me Thoth. Then later they confused me with their god Hermes. Even had the nerve to rename my sacred city Hermopolis, though we're nothing alike. Believe me, if you've ever met Hermes--”

Tags : Greek Hermes Thoth
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Red Pyramid

136. “Hi, this is Ganymede, cup-bearer to Zeus, and when I'm out buying wine for the Lord of the Skies, I always buckle up!”

Tags : Alcohol Greek Humor Mythology Public Service Announcement Safety
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Sea of Monsters

137. “Atlas smirked.”

Tags : Greek Paraphrased Unintentional Humor
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Titan's Curse

138. “Have you ever noticed how parents can go from the most wonderful people in the world to totally embarrassing in three seconds?”

Tags : Embarrassment Family Parents Relationships
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Red Pyramid

139. “Seriously, who has monogrammed pajamas?”

Tags : Style
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Last Olympian

140. “I've got a few ideas," (Amy) admitted. "But I don't know where we're going in the long term. I mean - have you ever thought about what this ultimate treasure could be?""Something cool." (Dan)"Oh, that's real helpful. I mean, what could make somebody the most powerful Cahill in history? And why thirty-nine clues?"Dan shrugged. "Thirty-nine is a sweet number. It's thirteen times three. It's also the sum of five prime numbers in a row - 3,5,7,11,13. And if you add the first three powers of three, 3 to the first, 3 to the second, and s to the third, you get thirty-nine."Amy stared at him. "How did you know that?""What do you mean? It's obvious.”

Tags : 39 Amy Cahill Dan Cahill Math Treasure
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Maze of Bones

141. “[Piper] rushed to get dressed. By the time she got up on deck, the others had already gathered—all hastily dressed except for Coach Hedge, who had pulled the night watch. Frank’s Vancouver Winter Olympics shirt was inside out. Percy wore pajama pants and a bronze breastplate, which was an interesting fashion statement. Hazel’s hair was all blown to one side as though she’d walked through a cyclone; and Leo had accidentally set himself on fire. His T-shirt was in charred tatters. His arms were smoking.”

Tags : Coach Hedge Fashion Frank Zhang Hazel Levesque Leo Valdez Percy Jackson Percy Jackson And The Olympians Piper Mclean The Heroes Of Olympus The Mark Of Athena
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Mark of Athena

142. “Percy, we're going to Polyphemus' island! Polyphemus is an S-i-k...a C-y-k..." She stamped her foot in frustration. As smart as she was, Annabeth was dyslexic, too. We could've been there all night while she tried to spell Cyclops. "You know what I mean!”

Tags : Annabeth Chase Cyclops Dyslexia Frustration Percy Jackson Percy Jackson And The Olympians Polyphemus Polyphemus Island Rick Riordan Spelling The Sea Of The Monsters
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Sea of Monsters

143. “Great victory requires great risk.-Hera”

Tags : Inspirational Victory
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lost Hero

144. “I, Horus, son of Osiris, claim the throne of the heavens as my birthright!" he shouted."What was once mine shall be mine again.Is there anyone who would challenge me?" The gods flickered and glowed. A few scowled. One muttered something that sounded like "Cheese", although that could've been my imagination.”

Tags : Carter Horus Humor Triumph
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Red Pyramid

145. “The real story of the Fleece: there were these two children of Zeus, Cadmus and Europa, okay? They were about to get offered up as human sacrifices, when they prayed to Zeus to save them. So Zeus sent this magical flying ram with golden wool, which picked them up in Greece and carried them all the way to Colchis in Asia Minor. Well, actually it carried Cadmus. Europa fell off and died along the way, but that's not important.""It was probably important to her.”

Tags : Annabeth Chase Gold Humor Percy Jackson
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Sea of Monsters

146. “Deadlines just aren't real to me until I'm staring one in the face.”

Tags : Deadlines Humor Procrastinate
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lightning Thief

147. “We still should have enough time to reach Rome.”Hazel scowled. “When you say should have enough…”Leo shrugged. “How do you feel about barely enough?”Hazel put her face in her hands for a count of three. “Sounds about typical for us.”

Tags : Deadlines Hazel Levesque Leo Valdez Percy Jackson And The Olympians The Heroes Of Olympus The Mark Of Athena
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Mark of Athena

148. “I said hello to the poodle.”

Tags : Humor Mythology Pets
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lightning Thief

149. “Piper had a new entry in her top-ten list of Times Piper Felt Useless. Fighting Shrimpzilla with a dagger and a pretty voice? Not so effective.”

Tags : Heroes Of Olympus Percy Jackson And The Olympians Piper Mclean Self Confidence Self Esteem Skolopendra The Mark Of Athena
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Mark of Athena

150. “Suspecting and knowing are not the same.”

Tags : Knowing Suspecting
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lightning Thief

151. “Some pain shouldn’t be wished away so easily. It had to be dealt with, even embraced. Without the agony of the last few months, Piper never would have found her best friends, Hazel and Annabeth. She never would’ve discovered her own courage. She certainly wouldn’t have had the guts to sing show tunes to the snake people under Athens.”

Tags : Experience Frienship Hurt Pain Piper Mclean
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Blood of Olympus

152. “Annabeth,” he said hesitantly, “in New Rome, demigods can live their whole lives in peace.” Her expression turned guarded. “Reyna explained it to me. But, Percy, you belong at Camp Half-Blood. That other life—”“I know,” Percy said. “But while I was there, I saw so many demigods living without fear: kids going to college, couples getting married and raising families. There’s nothing like that at Camp Half-Blood. I kept thinking about you and me…and maybe someday when this war with the giants is over…”It was hard to tell in the golden light, but he thought Annabeth was blushing. “Oh,” she said…“I’m sorry,” he said. “I just…I had to think of that to keep going. To give me hope. Forget I mentioned—”“No!” she said. “Gods, Percy, that’s so sweet.”

Tags : Annabeth Chase Hope Percy Jackson Percy Jackson And The Olympians Relationships Reyna Romance The Heroes Of Olympus The Mark Of Athena
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Mark of Athena

153. “Two hundred Romans, and no one’s got a pen? Never mind!" He slung his M16 onto his back and pulled out a hand grenade. There were many screaming Romans. Then the hand grenade morphed into a ballpoint pen, and Mars began to write. Frank looked at Percy with wide eyes. He mouthed: Can your sword do grenade form?Percy mouthed back, No. Shut up.”

Tags : Ares Frank Zhang Heroes Of Olympus Humor Mars Percy Jackson Son Of Neptune Transformation
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Son of Neptune

154. “Ares’s power was causing my anger. He’d love it if I attacked. I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction.”

Tags : Ares Bullies Holding Back
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lightning Thief

155. “Jumping out a window five hundred feet above ground is not usually my idea of fun. Especially when I'm wearing bronze wings and flapping my arms like a duck.”

Tags : Duck Wings
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Battle of the Labyrinth

156. “Don't worry, goat boy. The milkman is dead.”

Tags : Dead Goat Boy Milkman
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Battle of the Labyrinth

157. “Love conquers all," Aphrodite promised. "Look at Helen and Paris. Did they let anything come between them?""Didn't they start the Trojan War and get thousands of people killed?""Pfft. That's not the point. Follow your heart.”

Tags : Humor True Love
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Titan's Curse

158. “I wondered if I should start a small fire in Percy Jackson's sink, perhaps burn some bandages in thanks, but I decided that might strain that Jackson's hospitality.”

Tags : Apollo Funny Rick Riordan
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Hidden Oracle

159. “Us is my favorite people.”

Tags : Friends Funny Relationships
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The House of Hades

160. “Yours in demigodishness, and all that. Peace out!”

Tags : Demigod Funny Leo Valdez
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Son of Neptune

161. “She held up her calloused, grimy fingers. Leo couldn't help thinking there was nothing hotter than a girl who didn't mind getting her hands dirty. But of course, that was just a general comment. Didn't apply to Calypso. Obviously.”

Tags : Calypso Funny Humor Leo Valdez Love
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The House of Hades

162. “Tantalus made a wild grab, but the marshmallow committed suicide, diving into the flames.”

Tags : Curse Funny
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Sea of Monsters

163. “Huh," Leo said. "Well, if you ever get off this island and want a job, let me know. You're not a total klutz."She smirked. "A job, eh?" Making things in your forge?""Nah, we could start our own shop," Leo said, surprising himself. Starting a machine shop had always been one of his dreams, but he'd never told anyone about it. "Leo and Calypso's Garage: Auto Repair and Mechanical Monsters.”

Tags : Calypso Funny Humor Leo Valdez Love
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The House of Hades

164. “What about a compromise? I’ll kill them first, and if it turns out they were friendly, I’ll apologize.”

Tags : Coach Hedge Funny Humor
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lost Hero

165. “She said this in the same way you might say Fields of Punishment or Hades's gym shorts.”

Tags : Funny Humor
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Titan's Curse

166. “Um...is that thing tame?" Frank said.The horse whinnied angrily."I don't think so," Percy guessed. "He just said, 'I will trample you to death, silly Chinese Canadian baby man'.”

Tags : Funny Silly Chinese Canadian Baby Man
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Son of Neptune

167. “Hey, can I see that sword you were using?"I showed him Riptide, and explained how it turned from a pen into a sword just by uncapping it."Cool! Does it ever run out of ink?""Um, well, I don't actually write with it.""Are you really the son of Poseidon?""Well, yeah.""Can you surf really well, then?"I looked at Grover, who was trying hard not to laugh."Jeez, Nico," I said. "I've never really tried."He went on asking questions. Did I fight a lot with Thalia, since she was a daughter of Zeus? (I didn't answer that one.) If Annabeth's mother was Athena, the goddess of wisdom, then why didn't Annabeth know better than to fall off a cliff? (I tried not to strangle Nico for asking that one.) Was Annabeth my girlfriend? (At this point, I was ready to stick the kid in a meat-flavored sack and throw him to the wolves.)”

Tags : Annabeth Chase Athena Grover Underwood Nico Di Angelo Percy Jackson Poseidon Thalia Grace Zeus
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Titan's Curse

168. “As for my brothers," Zeus said, "we are thankful"-he cleared his throat like the words were hard to get out-"erm, thankful for the aid of Hades."The lord of the dead nodded. He had a smug look on his face, but I figure he'd earned the right. He patted his son Nico on the shoulders, and Nico looked happier than I'd ever seen him."And, of course," Zeus continued, though he looked like his pants were smoldering, "we must...um...thank Poseidon.""I'm sorry, brother," Poseidon said. "What was that?""We must thank Poseidon," Zeus growled. "Without whom . . . it would've been difficult-""Difficult?" Poseidon asked innocently."Impossible," Zeus said. "Impossible to defeat Typhon.”

Tags : Hades Nico Di Angelo Percy Jackson Poseidon Zeus
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Last Olympian

169. “The Council agrees," Zeus said. "Percy Jackson, you will have one gift from the gods."I hesitated. "Any gift?"Zeus nodded grimly. "I know what you will ask. The greatest gift of all. Yes, if you want it, it shall be yours. The gods have not bestowed this gift on a mortal hero in many centuries, but, Perseus Jackson-if you wish it-you shall be made a god. Immortal. Undying. You shall serve as your father's lieutenant for all time."I stared at him, stunned. "Um...a god?"Zeus rolled his eyes. "A dimwitted god, apparently. But yes. With the consensus of the entire Council, I can make you immortal. Then I will have to put up with you forever.""Hmm," Ares mused. "That means I can smash him to a pulp as often as I want, and he'll just keep coming back for more. I like this idea.”

Tags : Ares Humor Percy Jackson Poseidon Zeus
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Last Olympian

170. “Doesn't miss many meals, does he?" Zeus muttered. "Tyson, for your bravery in the war, and for leading the Cyclopes, you are appointed a general I. The armies of Olympus. You shall henceforth lead you breathren into war whenever required by the gods. And you shall have a new...um...what kind of weapon would you like? A sword? An axe?""Stick!" Tyson said, showing his broken club."Very well," Zeus said. "We will grant you a new, er, stick. The best stick that may be found.""Hooray!”

Tags : Club Tyson Zeus
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Last Olympian

171. “I looked at Thalia. "You're afraid of heights."Now that we were safely down the mountain, her eyes had their usual angry look. "Don't be stupid."That explains why you freaked out on Apollo's bus. Why you didn't want to talk about it."She took a deep breath. Then she brushed the pine needles out of her hair. "If you tell anyone, I swear—"No, no," I said. "That's cool. It's just… the daughter of Zeus, the Lord of the Sky, afraid of heights?”

Tags : Apollo Percy Jackson Thalia Grace Zeus
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Titan's Curse

172. “Your uncle," Poseidon sighed, "has always had a flair for dramatic exits. I think he would've done well as the god of theater.”

Tags : Percy Jackson Poseidon Zeus
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lightning Thief

173. “Kronos couldn't have risen if it hadn't been for a lot of demigods who felt abandoned by their parents," I said. "They felt angry, resentful, and unloved, and they had a good reason."Zeus's royal nostrils flared. "You dare accuse-""No more undetermined children," I said. "I want you to promise to claim your children-all your demigod children-by the time they turn thirteen. They won't be left out in the world on their own at the mercy of monsters. I want them claimed and brought to camp so they can be trained right, and survive." "Now, wait just a moment," Apollo said, but I was on a roll."And the minor gods," I said. "Nemesis, Hecate, Morpheus, Janus, Hebe--they all deserve a general amnesty and a place at Camp Half-Blood. Their children shouldn't be ignored. Calypso and the other peaceful Titan-kind should be pardoned too. And Hades-""Are you calling me a minor god?" Hades bellowed.”

Tags : Apollo Hades Percy Jackson Zeus
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Last Olympian

174. “But I've never even been to Olympus! Zeus is crazy!"Chiron and Grover glanced nervously at the sky. The clouds didn't seem to be parting around us, as Grover had promised. They were rolling straight over our valley, sealing us in like a coffin lid.Er, Percy ...?" Grover said. "We don't use the c-word to describe the Lord of the Sky.”

Tags : Chiron Grover Underwood Percy Jackson Zeus
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lightning Thief

175. “Wait just a minute," Ares growled. He pointed at Thalia and me. "These two are dangerous. It'd be much safer, while we've got them here—""Ares," Poseidon interrupted, "they are worthy heroes. We will not blast my son to bits.""Nor my daughter," Zeus grumbled. "She has done well.”

Tags : Ares Percy Jackson Poseidon Thalia Grace Zeus
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Titan's Curse

176. “My faithful companion, Zoe Nightshade, has passed into the stars. I must have a new lieutenant. And I intend to choose one. But first, Father Zeus, I must speak to you privately."Zeus beckoned Artemis forward. He leaned down and listened as she spoke in his ear.A feeling of panic seized me. "Annabeth," I said under my breath. "Don't."She frowned at me. "What?"Look, I need to tell you something," I continued. The words came stumbling out of me. "I couldn't stand it if… I don't want you to—"Percy?" she said. "You look like you're going to be sick."And that's how I felt. I wanted to say more, but my tongue betrayed me. It wouldn't move because of the fear in my stomach”

Tags : Annabeth Chase Artemis Percy Jackson Zeus Zoe Nightshade
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Titan's Curse

177. “The god of wine looked around at the assembled crowd. “Miss me?”The satyrs fell over themselves nodding and bowing. “Oh, yes, very much, sire!”“Well, I did not miss this place!” Dionysus snapped. “I bear bad news, my friends. Evil news. The minor gods are changing sides. Morpheus has gone over to the enemy. Hecate, Janus, and Nemesis, as well. Zeus knows how many more.”Thunder rumbled in the distance.“Strike that,” Dionysus said. “Even Zeus doesn’t know.”

Tags : Dionysus Grover Underwood Percy Jackson Zeus
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Battle of the Labyrinth

178. “Thalia blushed. "Hi, Lord Apollo."Zeus's girl, yes? Makes you my half sister. Used to be a tree, didn't you? Glad you're back. I hate it when pretty girls turn into trees. Man, I remember one time—”

Tags : Apollo Thalia Grace Zeus
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Titan's Curse

179. “If you look at it from any other side, it looks like a pile of enormous deer droppings, but Chiron wouldn't let us call the place the Poop Pile, especially after it had been named for Zeus, who doesn't have much of a sense of humor.”

Tags : Percy Jackson Rick Riordan The Titan S Curse Zeus
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Titan's Curse

180. “Nico danced around like he needed to use the restroom. "Does Zeus really have lightningbolts that do six hundred damage? Does he get extra movement points for—""Nico, shut up!" Bianca put her hands to her face. "This is not your stupid Mythomagic game,okay? There are no gods!”

Tags : Bianca Di Angelo Mythomagic Nico Di Angelo Nico Diangelo Zeus
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Titan's Curse

181. “It's just Annabeth mom jeez!”

Tags : The Lightning Thief
Author : Rick Riordan

182. “Grover was sniffing the wind, looking nervous. He fished out his acorns and threw them into the sand, then played his pipes. They rearranged themselves in a pattern that made no sense to me, but Grover looked concerned. "That's us," he said. "Those five nuts right there." "Which one is me?" I asked. "The little deformed one," Zoe suggested. "Oh, shut up.”

Tags : Acorns Percy Jackson Zoe Nightshade
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Titan's Curse

183. “What if it lines up like it did in the Trojan War ... Athena versus Poseidon?""I don't know. But I just know that I'll be fighting next to you.""Why?""Because you're my friend, Seaweed Brain. Any more stupid questions?”

Tags : Annabeth Chase Athena Percy Jackson Poseidon
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lightning Thief

184. “I nodded, looking at Rachel with respect. "You hit the Lord of the Titans in the eye with a blue plastic hairbrush.”

Tags : Percy Jackson Rachel Elizabeth Dare
Author : Rick Riordan

185. “Dreams like a podcast,Downloading truth in my ears.They tell me cool stuff.""Apollo?" I guess, because I figured nobody else could make a haiku that bad.He put his finger to his lips. "I'm incognito. Call me Fred.""A god named Fred?”

Tags : Apollo Fred Haiku Humor Percy Jackson Poem
Author : Rick Riordan

186. “You are okay?" he asked. "Not eaten by monsters?""Not even a little bit." I showed him that I still had both arms and both legs, and Tyson clapped happily."Yay!" he said. "Now we can eat peanut butter sandwiches and ride fish ponies! We can fight monsters and see Annabeth and make things go BOOM!"I hoped he didn't mean all at the same time, but I told him absolutely, we'd have a lot of fun this summer.”

Tags : Annabeth Chase Olympians Peanut Butter Percy Jackson Tyson
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Battle of the Labyrinth

187. “God alert!" Blackjack yelled. "It's the wine dude!Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!”

Tags : Blackjack Dionysus Percy Jackson
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Titan's Curse

188. “Hades raised an eyebrow. When he sat forward in his throne, shadowy faces appeared in the folds of his black robes, faces of torment,as if the garment was stitched of trapped souls from the Fields of Punishment, trying to get out. The ADHD part of me wondered, off-task, whether the rest of his clothes were made the same way. What horrible things would you have to do in your life to get woven into Hades' underwear?”

Tags : Hades Percy Jackson
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lightning Thief

189. “Percy: Don't I get a kiss for luck? It's kind of a tradition, right?Annabeth: Come back alive, Seaweed Brain. Then we'll see.”

Tags : Annabeth Chase Percy Jackson
Author : Rick Riordan

190. “Once she was gone, I knelt next to Annabeth and felt her forehead. She was still burning up."You're cute when you're worried," she muttered. "Your eyebrows get all scrunched together.""You are not going to die while I owe you a favor," I said. "Why did you take that knife?""You would've done the same for me."It was true. I guess we both knew it. Still, I felt like somebody was poking my heart with a cold metal rod.”

Tags : Annabeth Chase Debt Favor Friendship Knife Percy Jackson
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Last Olympian

191. “She raised an eyebrow. "You got something to say to me, Seaweed Brain?"You'd probably kick my butt."You know I'd kick your butt."I brushed the cake off my hands. "When I was at the River Styx, turning invulnerable . . . Nico said I had to concentrate on one thing that kept me anchored to the world, that made me want to stay mortal."Annabeth kept her eyes on the horizon. "Yeah?"Then up on Olympus," I said, "when they wanted to make me a god and stuff, I kept thinking-"Oh, you so wanted to."Well, maybe a little. But I didn't, because I thought-I didn't want things to stay the same for eternity, because things could always get better. And I was thinking . . ." My throat felt really dry.Anyone in particular?" Annabeth asked, her voice soft.I looked over and saw that she was trying not to smile.You're laughing at me," I complained.I am not!"You are so not making this easy."Then she laughed for real, and she put her hands around my neck. "I am never, ever going to make things easy for you, Seaweed Brain. Get used to it.”

Tags : Annabeth Chase Percy Jackson
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Last Olympian

192. “Braccas meas vescimini!"I wasn't sure where the Latin came from. I think it meant 'Eat my pants!”

Tags : Epithet Latin Percy Jackson
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Lightning Thief

193. “Now, come over here so I can pat you down.""But you don't have-" Percy stopped. "Uh, sure."He stood next to the armless statue. Terminus conducted a rigorous mental pat down."You seem to be clean," Terminus decided. "Do you have anything to declare?""Yes," Percy said. "I declare that this is stupid.”

Tags : Customs Declare Mental Pat Down No Arms Percy Jackson Terminus
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Son of Neptune

194. “Hercules,huh? Percy frowned. "That guy was like the Starbucks of Ancient Greece. Everywhere you turn--there he is.”

Tags : Humor Percy Jackson
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Mark of Athena

195. “Monkey bar," Annabeth said. "I'm great at these." She leaped onto to the first rung and start swinging her way across. She was scared of tiny spiders, but not of plummeting to her death from a set of monkey bars. Go figure.”

Tags : Annabeth Chase Percy Jackson
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Battle of the Labyrinth

196. “Behold!" Percy shouted. "The god's chosen beverage. Tremble before the horror of Diet Coke!”

Tags : Diet Coke Dolphin Warriors Mark Of Athena Percy Jackson
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Mark of Athena

197. “My mother made a squeaking sound that might of been either "yes" or "help".Poseidon took it as a yes and came in.Paul was looking back and forth between us, trying to read our expressions.Finally he stepped forward."Hi, I'm Paul Blofis."Poseidon raised an eyebrow and then shook his hand."Blowfish, did you say?""Ah, no. Blofis, actually.""Oh, I see," Poseidon said. "A shame. I quite like blowfish. I am Poseidon.""Poseidon? That's an interesting name.""Yes, I like it. I've gone by other names, but I do prefer Poseidon.""Like the god of the sea.""Very much like that, yes""Well!" My mother interrupted. "Um, were so glad you could drop by. Paul, this is Percy's father.""Ah." Paul nodded, though he didn't look real pleased. "I see."Poseidon smiled at me. "There you are, my boy. And Tyson, hello, son!""Daddy!" Tyson [shouted]...Paul's jaw dropped. He stared at my mother. "Tyson is...""Not mine," she promised. "It's a long story.”

Tags : Humor Paul Percy Jackson Poseidon Tyson
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Battle of the Labyrinth

198. “The throne rumbled. A wave of gale-force anger slammed into me. WHO DARES-The voice stopped abruptly, The anger retreated, which was a good thing, because just those two words had almost blasted my mind to shreds. Percy. My fathers voice was still angry but more controlled. What-exactly-are you doing on my throne?"I'm sorry, Father," I said. "I needed to get your attention."This was a very dangerous thing to do. Even for you. If I hadn't looked before I blasted, you would now be a puddle of seawater.”

Tags : Percy Jackson Poseidon
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Last Olympian

199. “It's him," I said. "Typhon."I was seriously hoping Chiron would say something good, like 'No, that's our huge friend Leroy! He's going to help us!”

Tags : Chiron Percy Jackson
Author : Rick Riordan

200. “I'm calm," Rachel insisted. "Every time I'm around you, some monsters attack us. What's to be nervous about?""Look," I said. "I'm sorry about the band room. I hope they didn't kick you our or anything.""Nah. They asked me a lot of questions about you. I played dumb.""Was it hard?" Annabeth asked.”

Tags : Annabeth Chase Dumb Humor Insult Percy Jackson Rachel Dare
Author : Rick Riordan
Source : The Battle of the Labyrinth