Frank Zappa Quotes

/ Author List / Frank Zappa

1. “So many books, so little time.”

Tags : Books Humor
Author : Frank Zappa

2. “The United States is a nation of laws, badly written and randomly enforced.”

Tags : Political
Author : Frank Zappa

3. “There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.”

Tags : Stupidity
Author : Frank Zappa

4. “Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe.”

Tags : Stupidity
Author : Frank Zappa

5. “If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.”

Tags : Education Sex
Author : Frank Zappa

6. “Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.”

Tags : Music Philosophy Progress
Author : Frank Zappa

7. “If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.”

Tags : Be Yourself Life Self Determination
Author : Frank Zappa

8. “A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open.”

Tags : Open Mindedness Simile
Author : Frank Zappa

9. “Interviewer: 'So Frank, you have long hair. Does that make you a woman?'Frank Zappa: 'You have a wooden leg. Does that make you a table?”

Tags : Hair Humor Retort
Author : Frank Zappa

10. “The essence of Christianity is told us in the Garden of Eden history. The fruit that was forbidden was on the tree of knowledge. The subtext is, 'All the suffering you have is because you wanted to find out what was going on. You could be in the Garden of Eden if you had just kept your fucking mouth shut and hadn't asked any questions.”

Tags : Christianity Conservative Democrat Fundamentalism Homosexuality Humor Liberal Progressive Religion Republican Science
Author : Frank Zappa

11. “Schools train you to be ignorant with style [...] they prepare you to be a usable victim for a military industrial complex that needs manpower. As long as you're just smart enough to do a job and just dumb enough to swallow what they feed you, you're going to be alright [...] So I believe that schools mechanically and very specifically try and breed out any hint of creative thought in the kids that are coming up.”

Tags : Conformity Corruption Creativity Education Eye Opening Government Corruption Individuality Indoctrination Inspirational Military Obedience Sad Truth School School Reform Schooling
Author : Frank Zappa

12. “A drug is not bad. A drug is a chemical compound. The problem comes in when people who take drugs treat them like a license to behave like an asshole.”

Tags : Comedy Drugs
Author : Frank Zappa
Source : The Real Frank Zappa Book

13. “Well, I'm not here to impinge on anybody else's lifestyle. If I'm in a place where I know I'm going to harm somebody's health or somebody asks me to please not smoke, I just go outside and smoke. But I do resent the way the nonsmoking mentality has been imposed on the smoking minority. Because, first of all, in a democracy, minorities do have rights. And, second, the whole pitch about smoking has gone from being a health issue to a moral issue, and when they reduce something to a moral issue, it has no place in any kind of legislation, as far as I'm concerned.”

Tags : Minorities Morality Rights Smoking
Author : Frank Zappa

14. “I like to watch the news, because I don't like people very much and when you watch the news ... if you ever had an idea that people were really terrible, you could watch the news and know that you're right.”

Tags : Comedy Media Society
Author : Frank Zappa

15. “Definition of rock journalism: People who can't write, doing interviews with people who can't think, in order to prepare articles for people who can't read.”

Tags : Humor Music Writing
Author : Frank Zappa
Source : The Real Frank Zappa Book

16. “Take the Kama Sutra. How many people died from the Kama Sutra as opposed to the Bible? Who wins?”

Tags : Religion
Author : Frank Zappa

17. “My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is: Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can.”

Tags : Children Religion
Author : Frank Zappa

18. “There's a big difference between kneeling down and bending over.”

Tags : Religion
Author : Frank Zappa

19. “Drop out of school before your mind rots from exposure to our mediocre educational system. Forget about the Senior Prom and go to the library and educate yourself if you've got any guts. Some of you like Pep rallies and plastic robots who tell you what to read.”

Tags : Education High School Self Education
Author : Frank Zappa

20. “All the good music has already been written by people with wigs and stuff.”

Tags : Incorrect Innovation Music
Author : Frank Zappa

21. “I never set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me weird.”

Tags : Frank Zappa Originality People Weird
Author : Frank Zappa

22. “Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff.”

Tags : Communism
Author : Frank Zappa

23. “I have an important message to deliver to all the cute people all over the world. If you're out there and you're cute, maybe you're beautiful. I just want to tell you somethin' — there's more of us UGLY MOTHERFUCKERS than you are, hey-y, so watch out.”

Tags : Beauty Ugly
Author : Frank Zappa

24. “The more you can escape from how horrible things really are, the less it's going to bother you...and then, the worse things get.”

Tags : Government Corruption Ignorance Politics Willful Ignorance
Author : Frank Zappa

25. “Republicans stand for raw, unbridled evil and greed and ignorance smothered in balloons and ribbons.”

Tags : Politics Republicans
Author : Frank Zappa

26. “Art is making something out of nothing, and selling it.”

Tags : Art Profit
Author : Frank Zappa

27. “Love lyrics have contributed to the general aura of bad mental health in America.”

Tags : Love Songs
Author : Frank Zappa

28. “A true Zen saying: "Nothing is what I want.”

Tags : Humor
Author : Frank Zappa

29. “I wrote a song about dental floss but did anyone's teeth get cleaner?”

Tags : Censorship Floss Lyrics Teeth Zappa
Author : Frank Zappa

30. “lf you’re going to deal with reality, you’re going to have to make one big discovery: Reality is something that belongs to you as an individual. If you wanna grow up, which most people don’t, the thing to do is take responsibility for your own reality and deal with it on your own terms. Don’t expect that because you pay some money to somebody else or take a pledge or join a club or run down the street or wear a special bunch of clothes or play a certain sport or even drink Perrier water, it’s going to take care of everything for you.”

Tags : Frank Zappa Reality Zappa
Author : Frank Zappa

31. “It isn't necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice -- there are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia.”

Tags : Frank Zappa
Author : Frank Zappa
Source : Zappa: A Biography

32. “You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of football team, or some nuclear weapons, but in the very least you need a beer.”

Tags : Beer
Author : Frank Zappa

33. “The bassoon is one of my favorite instruments. It has a medieval aroma, like the days when everything used to sound like that. Some people crave baseball...I find this unfathomable, but I can easily understand why a person could get excited about playing the bassoon.”

Tags : Baseball Bassoon
Author : Frank Zappa

34. “Tobacco is my favorite vegetable.”

Tags : Tobacco
Author : Frank Zappa

35. “The rock and roll business is pretty absurd, but the world of serious music is much worse.”

Tags : Business Capitalism Music
Author : Frank Zappa

36. “Nobody looks good with brown lipstick on.”

Tags : Lipstick
Author : Frank Zappa

37. “All your children are poor unfortunate victims of systems beyond their control”

Tags : Lyrics In A Song
Author : Frank Zappa

38. “The Ultimate Rule ought to be: 'If it sounds GOOD to you, it's bitchin'; if it sounds BAD to YOU, it's shitty. The more your musical experience, the easier it is to define for yourself what you like and what you don't like. American radio listeners, raised on a diet of _____ (fill in the blank), have experienced a musical universe so small they cannot begin to know what they like.”

Tags : Comedy Media Music
Author : Frank Zappa
Source : The Real Frank Zappa Book

39. “Politics is the entertainment branch of industry.”

Tags : Humour Politics Zappa
Author : Frank Zappa

40. “For the record, folks; I never took a shit on stage and the closest I ever came to eating shit anywhere was at a Holiday Inn buffet in Fayetteville, North Carolina, in 1973.”

Tags : Comedy Music
Author : Frank Zappa
Source : The Real Frank Zappa Book

41. “Information is not knowledge.Knowledge is not wisdom.Wisdom is not truth.Truth is not beauty.Beauty is not love.Love is not music.Music is THE BEST.”

Tags : Music
Author : Frank Zappa

42. “Jazz isn't dead. It just smells funny.”

Tags : Humor Jazz Music
Author : Frank Zappa

43. “Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production deadlines or dates by which bills must be paid.”

Tags : Music
Author : Frank Zappa
Source : Real Frank Zappa Book

44. “Alright. Let's get realistic now. You know and I know that the function of that number was just to provide some sort of warm-up trash before we do something HEAVY. Something a little bit harder to listen to, but which is probably better for you in the LONG RUN. The item in this instance, which will be better for you in the LONG RUN, and if we only had a little more space up here we could make it visual for you, is "Some Ballet Music," which we've played at most of our concert series in Europe. Generally in halls where we had a little bit more space and Motorhead and Kansas could actually fling themselves across the stage, and give you their teenage interpretation of the art of The Ballet. I don't think it's too safe to do it here, maybe they can just hug each other a little bit and do some calisthenics in the middle of the stage.”

Tags : Beat The Boots I Good For You The Ark
Author : Frank Zappa

45. “The Ultimate Rule ought to be: 'If it sounds GOOD to you, it's bitchin'; if it sounds BAD to YOU, it's shitty. The more your musical experience, the easier it is to define for yourself what you like and what you don't like.”

Tags : Opinion Taste
Author : Frank Zappa

46. “There is no such thing as a dirty word. Nor is there a word so powerful, that it's going to send the listener to the lake of fire upon hearing it.”

Tags : Censorship Dirty Words
Author : Frank Zappa

47. “Once upon a timeSomebody say to me(This is a dog talkin' now)What is your Conceptual Continuity?Well, I told him right then(Fido said)It should be easy to seeThe crux of the biscuitIs the Apostrophe(')”

Tags : Apostrophe Conceptual Continuity
Author : Frank Zappa
Source : Apostrophe